From the ArcaMax Publishing, Jokes Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/jokes/s-14066-202124
You may wish to delay reading this until you have more free time.
1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done
already.
2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find
excuses.
3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in propoartion to the
amount of bodily injury I could expect to recieve from missing them.
5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possiblity for new
technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my
obligations.
6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of
the amount of time given.
7. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
8. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to
change my mind.
9. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or
write the first word, when I get around to it.
10. I will never put off tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.