... continued from above

No patrol car assigned to you will be clean and never have a full tank of gas.

Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break.

The oldest squad car won't be retired. It will be assigned to you.

Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.

Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.

Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff.

You will score no higher than fourth on a promotion exam with only three positions.

If the crooks are within pistol range, so are you.

The speed you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been an officer.

Continued below...