Humor

/

Entertainment

Only a Southerner

on

Published in Jokes

- Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

- Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

- Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

- Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

- Only a Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

 

- Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large peach cobbler!

- Only a Southerner grows up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

- Only a Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" and go your own way.


Comments

blog comments powered by Disqus
 

 

Comics

John Branch The Fortune Teller Popeye Joel Pett Peanuts Pardon My Planet