Only a Southerner
Published in Jokes
- Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
- Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
- Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
- Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
- Only a Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
- Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large peach cobbler!
- Only a Southerner grows up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
- Only a Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" and go your own way.
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