Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are. The first one says, "Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow".

The second one says, "Ha! You think that's fast! My father is a hunter. He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet".

The ...Read more

About 90 fifth-graders piled into the airliner I was flying, on their way home from a school trip. Once we were in the air, and the crew began serving drinks, I could hear them pleading with the children to settle down and let the other passengers get some sleep.

No amount of reasoning seemed to help, until I thought of the solution that ...Read more

Little Johnny was going to a public school and he was doing very badly in maths. So his mother decided to put him into a Catholic school. When she got his report card at the end of the term, his marks in maths had improved tremendously.

So she asked him why. He replied "When I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they meant business!"

Little Johhny strolls into school on Tuesday. The teacher stops him in the hall.

"Johnny, why weren't you in school yesterday?"

"Sorry, Miss, but my dad got burned"

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope it wasn't badly?"

"Well, they don't mess about at the crematorium, Miss!"

The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day.

When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time.

She was reluctant to call upon little Johnny, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually ...Read more

My mind not only wanders, it sometime leaves completely.

The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you're doing, someone else does.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good ...Read more

My husband David's colleague at a package-processing center was trapped in a small rest room by a faulty lock. When he was finally discovered, David and another worker were able to open the door with some difficulty. The lock was still jammed, so they blocked the door open while a maintenance worker was called. A bit later, David noticed ...Read more

During his freshman year, my son Steve couldn't get home for Christmas. So he sent me a set of inexpensive cuff links and a note reading: "Dear Dad, This is not much, but it's all you could afford."

The ball had been knocked out of the stadium into the lane and everybody was out looking for it.

One of the players came across an old tramp, lying in the shade.

'Excuse me' said the Baseballer, 'but have you seen a baseball?'

'No, I haven't,' replied the tramp. 'But I've brought one from home I could sell you!'

Teacher: How do you spell cat, Angela?

Angela: C-A-I -

Teacher: Stop right there. Cat doesn't have and I!

Angela: So how does it see to catch a mouse?