Humor
/Entertainment
The Wrong Grade, part 1
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Ms. Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. ...Read more
Even More Rules for When You Find Yourself in a Horror Movie
- If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.
- Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Arkham (you're in trouble if you recognize ...Read more
Marvin
Marvin the Complainer and his wife happened to pass away on the same day and as they await their interview with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, they're approached by an angel.
"Hello," says the angel. "I'm your host, and welcome to Heaven. In a few moments you'll be entering through our famous Pearly Gates for the most fantastic adventure you'...Read more
Word Contest
The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its annual contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. Here are some of the selected results.
-- Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
-- Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
-- Abdicate (v.), to give...Read more
In Line...
Here are the reasons I'd Like to thank Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Target, and my local grocer for having 25 checkout lanes and only three open at any given time.
-- Waiting in long lines keeps my domestic brain from going completely idle -- there's so much to learn!
- I can catch up on my magazine reading without buying any.
- I have time to ...Read more
Josh Johnson on Non Bus People Riding the Bus, His Uncle Getting Phrases Wrong & New Comedy Special
Josh talks about his new special “Symphony” on HBO Max, people who are not “bus people” riding the bus, how he used to commute in the bayou, what he misses most about childhood, and his uncle getting popular sayings wrong all of the time.
Girls Behaving Badly: Blind date gone crazy
it's awkward when you run into someone who knows you but you don't remember them at all; but it's even more awkward when that supposed long lost friend is a woman in a straitjacket!
Emily Blunt on Meryl Streep Dancing at Her Wedding & Working with Steven Spielberg on Disclosure Day
Emily talks about getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on the same day as her brother-in-law Stanley Tucci, their friends Meryl Streep, Robert Downey Jr, Matt Damon and Dwayne Johnson being there, Dwayne being pulled over by the cops right after, the time Meryl Streep danced with her mom and husband John Krasinski’s mom to Mama Mia at ...Read more
Saturday Night Live Season 51 Bloopers - SNL
Check out these bloopers from Season 51 of Saturday Night Live featuring Ariana Grande, Will Ferrell and more.
Tig Notaro's Impression Of A Person Doing Impressions | CONAN on TBS
Comedian Tig Notaro performs some stand-up and a few of her mind-boggling impressions.
Straitjacket Cooking (Pt.1) | Season 15 Ep. 13 | HELL'S KITCHEN
The cooking begins! The chefs direct their families in the kitchen.
Coffee
Late one night I stopped at one of those 24-hour gas station mini-marts to get myself a fresh-brewed cup of coffee. When I picked up the pot, I could not help noticing that the brew was as black as asphalt and just about as thick.
"How old is the coffee you have here?" I asked the woman who was standing behind the store counter.
She shrugged. ...Read more
Shopping
My husband had reluctantly agreed to come shopping with me. But when he found himself stuck in a lingerie shop while I tried on one garment after another, he regretted his decision. Impatient and bored he asked a salesclerk, "Is there anything in the store for men?"
"Sir," she said, "everything in this store is for men."
