Funny Stuff

on Mar 2, 2021

Published in Jokes

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"I wrote a novel this year called, 'Shop Girl,' and several producers came to me and wanted to turn it into a movie. And I said, 'If you think you're going to take this book and change it around, and Hollywoodize it and change the ending, that's going to cost you.'" --Steve Martin

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"The holidays are just around the corner. Regis and Donald Trump have gotten together and have released a Christmas CD. This may be the first Christmas album to result in indict- ments." --Dave Letterman

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"Right here in New York City over the weekend two dozen sumo wrestlers were in town over at Madison Square Garden. It was nice to have the sumo wrestlers this time of the year in New York City. When the weather gets cool you just don't see enough shirtless fat guys." --Dave Letterman

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Studying the Oregon Commercial Motor Vehicle manual afforded me the opportunity to learn this important driving factoid: "According to accident reports, the vehicle that trucks and buses most often run into is the one in front of them."