ArcaMax

Dear Eric: After 38 years of military and Department of Defense service, I retired and moved to my current home eight years ago (in a town I've never lived in before). I became friends with a woman two years ago and she introduced me to her larger circle of friends (about 19 women). Since then, I've become close with her and her best friend and ...Read more

Dear Eric: A friend is planning his second marriage. It will be his fiancée’s third. Both are in their mid-to-late 60s, have owned their single-family homes for many years, and have reasonably well-paying jobs.

They are planning a wedding shower and have registered for gifts, including expensive kitchen equipment and utensils, china, ...Read more

Dear Eric: About 14 years ago our son was seriously dating a woman whom both my wife and I really adored. We both thought she would be a great wife and daughter-in-law.

She became the daughter we always wanted to have.

Then the unspeakable happened. She cheated on him. They broke up, yet remained friends, but she claimed she had adopted us as ...Read more

Dear Eric: One of my husband's son's is going through an ongoing divorce, many years.

A few years ago, he started storing equipment, tools, bikes, and more in our garage, attic, shed and basement. Our garage is packed to the ceiling, and we cannot use it for many of our own things. We felt badly for him when he first told us of his "plight", ...Read more

Dear Eric: In 2020, my now-wife and I were engaged. My mother is a nurse and has asthma and was deeply hit with mental and emotional stress from the pandemic. She would not attend most wedding planning events and would always be concerned with germs, wearing an N95 mask and keeping her distance.

My wife had a completely opposite reaction to the...Read more

Dear Eric: Three friends and I are planning an eight-day cruise in January.

Two other people found out about the trip and are now coming as well. We are fine with that but are not looking to make it a larger group and I am definitely not looking to turn into the "cruise director" for the group as often seems to happen.

There is one friend that...Read more

Dear Eric: My husband and I have been married for almost 32 years. He’s retired military and works as a civilian. All those years as military he wore the standard uniform, plus boots.

Well, some time back he visited Texas and bought some cowboy boots. Mind you, he had always been the non-clothes horse guy – simple jeans and shoes.

Well, ...Read more

Dear Eric: I am in a 12-step program. We have rules about anonymity and confidentiality, specifically that what is shared in a meeting stays at the meeting, and I trust that this applies to information shared between members and their sponsors outside of the meetings.

In a recent meeting, my sponsor, “Sally," used her sharing time to talk ...Read more

Dear Eric: I am a clergy person with a comfortable office/study at the church building. I love the space. It’s where the great bulk of my work gets done.

I also love my wife.

But she is pretty boundaryless regarding my office space. This is problematic for a few reasons. One is that I often have confidential information about parishioners on...Read more

Dear Eric: I have two daughters. One is in a long-term marriage with an established career. The other, who has less stable employment, recently moved in with her boyfriend of five years.

I am widowed and elderly. Rather unexpectedly, I find that my income, especially the required minimum distribution from my IRA, exceeds my needs by a ...Read more

Dear Eric: My boyfriend and I have been together for more than 15 years. He has children and grandchildren. One child is a divorced, single parent with two teenage kids and one younger. My boyfriend has to be there with them whenever the parent works. And after work, instead of going home, the parent decides to "go out" knowing my boyfriend will...Read more

Dear Eric: I have a friend who is on the opposite side of politics from me. She sent me this message: "After seeing your vile and disgusting lies on Facebook I have no desire to be friends with anyone on the left."

We have never approached any private political conversation as we recognize there is no convincing each other to change our ...Read more

Dear Eric: My spouse, 87, and I, 84, live in a three-bedroom condo near a popular beach with many attractions. When we were younger, we housed guests frequently.

We cannot move from our home, and we do all our own housekeeping without outside help (which we cannot afford). We've tried to reduce our active living space. We are in very good shape...Read more

Dear Eric: I have a buddy that I reconnected with after more than 10 years. I’ve known him 40 years. He lives in another state about seven hours away. I enjoy chatting with him and we cut up a lot.

The problem is he calls two to three times a day. He is 80 years old in good health, very active and a single guy.

He did lose his wife about two...Read more

Dear Eric: My oldest sister recently lost her husband of 40 years. He had health issues, but his death six months ago was unexpected. They had no children. They moved away from our hometown many years ago and made a very happy life together.

My other siblings and I still live in our hometown and have always gathered on Christmas Eve with our ...Read more

Dear Eric: One year after my retirement I am still feeling confused and hurt for not receiving a “retirement gift” from my long-time employers. I worked for a family-owned realty company for nearly 30 years. I am not a family member.

We started out as just four of us while the company expanded into one of the largest real estate firms in ...Read more

Dear Eric: I am a married man in my early 40s with no kids.

My wife does a good job keeping in touch with friends of hers from her childhood and throughout the years in her life despite not living near them and being in different phases of life.

It's admittedly a lot harder for me. I have a few close buddies that I continue to keep in touch ...Read more

Dear Eric: I’m 75 and I have a problem I've dealt with for a long time. It has to do with bullies. In school I had fists shaken in my face, I was laughed at because I was skinny, shy and had bad pimples. I couldn't wait to leave school each day.

At a very large company I did well professionally, however, the bullying never stopped. It ...Read more

Dear Eric: My daughter will be 37 in a month but has never been able to completely support herself. She has a degree from a good university but is unable to keep a job for more than a year or so.

She presently works as a restaurant hostess at a high-end restaurant. She has lived with her younger boyfriend for five years with no plans to marry. ...Read more

Dear Readers: On November 9, I answered a letter from someone who was trying to find a way to acknowledge her impending divorce in her Christmas cards, which would contain a photo of the letter writer and her kids, sans soon-to-be amicable ex. I made a few suggestions and invited you to lend your wisdom. Here are a few great suggestions and one ...Read more