Humor
/Entertainment
Best Patients
Five surgeons are discussing who makes the best patients on the operating table.
The first surgeon says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table, because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon says, "...Read more
Fireflies
A mother firefly was taking her children for a walk near dusk, and they came to a dark woods. "All right, kids," she ordered, "line up, and whatever happens, don't shine your light. There are owls in the forest and they might fly down and eat you!"
The small fireflies did as they were told, with the youngest firefly at the end of the line. As ...Read more
Ponder All the Things
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times...Read more
Unsuitable Steak
A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat.
"Are you crazy?" yelled the customer, "with your hand on my steak?"
"What" answers the waiter, "You want it to fall on the floor again?"
Free drinks for everyone
One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: "Drinks for all on me including you, bartender." So the bartender follows the mans orders and says: "That will be $36.50 please." The drunk says he has no money so the bartender slaps him around and throws him out.
The next night the same drunk comes in again and orders a ...Read more
What's Behind Me? with Millie Bobby Brown | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Millie Bobby Brown and Jimmy take turns giving each other clues to guess the random scenes happening behind them, like "Woody and Buzz Lightyear flossing in front of Big Ben," before the clock runs out.
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds | Spock Teaches Doug How to High Five (S3, E8) | Paramount+
Spock (Ethan Peck) gives a human crash course to fellow Vulcan, Doug (Patton Oswalt). From perfecting the high five to explaining the 8-hour sleep cycle, Spock shows the art of being human. Season 3 Episode 8: Four-and-a-Half Vulcans.
Scranton's Train Set: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (Bonus Segments)
2017. John Oliver notices how obsessed people are with a toy train set on a local news program in Scranton, Pennsylvania, and thinks their devoted audience deserves better.
'Scenes from an Italian Restaurant' (Billy Joel) | Middle Aged Dad Jam Band feat "Weird Al" Yankovic
Full evening of music, laughs and fun, including our tribute to the 25th Anniversary of WET HOT AMERICAN SUMMER with songs, clips, and memories from the classic movie.
The Daily Show Celebrates 250 Years of America, and Maybe 250 More? | The Daily Show
It's America's 250th anniversary, and while Trump is planning to commemorate the milestone with a concert full of understudies and his own face on a $250 bill, the TDS News Team asks Americans what they want for the quadricentennial, looks ahead to the next 250 years, and looks back at the greatest moments in the country's history, from the 1992...Read more
Emily Blunt Is Up to the Challenge While Eating Spicy Wings | Hot Ones
Emily Blunt is a Golden Globe Award–winning actor with a prolific run in 2026 that includes the Devil Wears Prada 2 and right now, you can catch her in Steven Spielberg's latest sci-fi film, Disclosure Day, set to release in theaters June 12th. But how is she with spicy food? Find out as Blunt takes on the wings of death and discusses iconic ...Read more
Used Heart
A man has a heart attack and is brought to the hospital ER. The doctor tells him that he will not live unless he has a heart transplant right away. Another doctor runs into the room and says, "You're in luck, two hearts just became available, so you will get to choose which one you want. One belongs to an attorney and the other to a social ...Read more
The Vet
After a long day of being called upon to visit an endless series of horses and cows with sore legs, I finally returned to the animal clinic.
Although exhausted, when I discovered I had a slow leak in one of my truck tires, I drove over to get it fixed at the service station.
The mechanic knew immediately he was dealing with a tired ...Read more
Hearing Aids
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased ...Read more
Funny Punny Names
Some Like it Sweet: Sugar Kane
Oh What A Relief It Is: Al Kaseltzer
New Mexico Tour Book: Albie Kerky
I Was A Son Of A Buccaneer: Rich Kidd
The Palace Roof has a Hole: Lee King
Lawn Care: Ray King
Exercise on Wheels: Cy Kling
I Hate the Sun: Gladys Knight
Teach Me!: I. Wanda Know
Better ...Read more
Questions, Questions, Questions!
A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
"Can you tell me how much you charge?", said the client.
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"
"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"
