What was King Arthur's favorite game?
Knights and crosses!

Where was the Declaration of Independance signed?
At the bottom!

Did they play tennis in ancient Egypt?
Yes, the bible tells how Joseph served in Pharoah's court!

Wish I had been born 1000 years ago!
Why is that?
Just think of all the history that I ...Read more

- You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies.

- Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.

- Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.

- Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um.

- You order your business cards in "half orders" instead of whole boxes.

- When someone asks about ...Read more

A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue. Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the Rabbi went to see him.

He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, "How come after all these years we don't see you at services anymore?"

The old man lowered his voice. ...Read more

Friday, we had a tornado drill. Our department is situated underneath a parking garage (funny how corporations just love putting the nerds in a basement), and there's a PA announcement repeating itself ad nauseum: "This is a tornado drill. Please move quickly away from any and all windows."

Somebody yelled out: "Quick! Get to a DOS prompt."

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer said, "In the neighbourhood of $75,000 a year, depending on the benefit's package."

The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid ...Read more

A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand.

"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.

"He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied.

The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"

An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes".

The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me funny..."

After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the ...Read more

An airliner flew into a violent thunderstorm and was soon swaying and bumping around the sky.

One very nervous lady happened to be sitting next to a clergyman and turned to him. "Can't you do something?" she demanded angrily.

"I'm sorry ma'am," the reverend said gently, "I'm in sales, not management."

The sales manager was wrapping up her pep talk to new staff members. "Just remember this," she said. "Always be sincere, whether you mean it or not."

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer: "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me exactly what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you ...Read more

Once upon a time, long, long ago there were two unique lions in the jungles of Africa. Both, it seems, had human-like qualities that made them claim territory, daring the other to cross over the line. Strange as it seems, the boundary between their turf was a well traveled trail through the jungle.

All day every day, both lions lay in the brush...Read more

"In New York a man has set the Guinness World Record for being a couch potato. He spent 68 hours and 48 minutes straight watching TV. So nice to see FEMA director Mike Brown landing on his feet." --Jay Leno

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"Martha Stewart is with us tonight and she's going to show us how to dig a tunnel with a melon baller." --David Letterman

An elderly gentleman was reading his recovery-room record at the hospital where I work.

He looked quite concerned at one notation.

"I know I was in a bit of a muddle, but I didn't realize I was that bad," he said to me apologetically. "I hope I didn't offend anyone."

He was greatly relieved when I explained the acronym in question meant "...Read more

A sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate's peg-leg, hook, and eye patch, the sailor asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"

The pirate replies "We was caught in a monster storm off the cape and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pullin' me out, a school...Read more