A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"

"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."

"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old ...Read more

How do you stop a werewolf chasing you?
Throw a stick and say fetch!

How do you know if two werewolves have been in the fridge?
Two pairs of paw prints in the butter!

What's Dracula's favourite coffee?
Decoffinated!

What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a frog?
A creature that can bite you from the other side of ...Read more

Why did the unwashed chicken cross the road twice?
Because he was a dirty double crosser!

What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozer!

What has two legs and flies?
A pig!

What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus?
A cow that can milk itself!

Q: What dog loves to take bubble baths?
A: A shampoodle!

Q: How do you catch a runaway dog?
A: Hide behind a tree and make a noise like a bone!

Q: What dogs are best for sending telegrams?
A: Wire haired terriers!!

Q: What kind of dog does a vampire prefer?
A: Any kind of bloodhound!

Q: What kind of dog sniffs out new...Read more

* I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

* He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

* Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

* A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.

* He wears glasses during math because it improves division.

* Two peanuts were walking in a ...Read more

A man went to the cinema. As he sat down to watch the film and his eyes got accustomed to the dark, he noticed a dog sitting on the seat beside him. He was somewhat bemused but decided to try and ignore the dog.

As the film progressed he noticed that the dog was reacting appropriately to the scenes. For laughter the dog wagged his tail and ...Read more

- Rudeville, New Jersey
- Boring, Oregon
- Hell, Michigan
- Hooker, California
- Virgin, Utah
- Dulls Corner, Maryland
- Bowlegs, Oklahoma
- Volcano, Hawaii
- Beersville, Pennsylvania
- Fleatown, Ohio
- Burnt Corn, Alabama
- Two Guns, Arizona
- Toad Suck, Arkansas

The farmer's son was returning from the market with the crate of chicken's his father had entrusted to him, when all of a sudden the box fell and broke open. Chickens scurried off in different directions, but the determined boy walked all over the neighborhood scooping up the wayward birds and returning them to the repaired crate. Hoping he had ...Read more

A butcher is leaning on the counter toward the close of day when a dog with a basket in its jaws comes pushing through the door.

"An' wot's this then?" he asked. The dog knocks the basket sharply into the butcher's shins.

"You dumb dog." As he reaches down to smack the dog, he notices a note and a ten dollar bill in the basket.

The scribble ...Read more

Having lost weight over the past few years, a lady was discarding things from her wardrobe that no longer fit.

Her seven-year-old niece was watching as she held up a huge pair of slacks.

"Wow," the lady said, "I must have worn these when I was 183."

Her niece looked puzzled, then asked, "How old are you now?"