Humor

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Entertainment

All Numbers Are Equal

Humor / Jokes /

Theorem: All numbers are equal. Proof: Choose arbitrary a and b, and let t = a + b. Then

a + b = t
(a + b)(a - b) = t(a - b)
a^2 - b^2 = ta - tb
a^2 - ta = b^2 - tb
a^2 - ta + (t^2)/4 = b^2 - tb + (t^2)/4
(a - t/2)^2 = (b - t/2)^2
a - t/2 = b - t/2
a = b

So all numbers are the same, and math is ...Read more

Some Police Quotes

Humor / Jokes /

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets ...Read more

Extra Letter

Humor / Jokes /

I have OC/DC. It's just like OCD except it frickin' rocks.

Honey is Yummy

Humor / Jokes /

I'd like to thank the person who looked at a buzzing Bee-hive and thought:

"Those guys are hiding something delicious in there I know it."

That's Not It

Humor / Jokes /

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, "That's not it" and put it down again.

This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his ...Read more

Robin Williams & Martha Stewart Can't Stop Laughing While Cooking Tacos | Martha Stewart

Humor / Jokes /

Robin Williams and Martha Stewart can't stop laughing while cooking up skirt steak tacos together.

Warren Haynes “This Life As We Know It” - The Late Show’s Commercial Breakdown

Humor / Jokes /

Rock and blues guitar legend Warren Haynes joins Louis Cato & The Late Show Band in the bandstand for a #CommercialBreakdown performance of “This Life As We Know It,” from his 2024 solo album, ‘Million Voices Whisper.’

Sean Hayes and Seth Play a Game Called Quick Quick Quick, Talk SmartLess and The Unknown

Humor / Jokes /

Sean Hayes talks about his one-man show, The Unknown, and the podcast SmartLess before playing a round of Hayes’ game Quick Quick Quick.

Linus Sebastian Shows Jimmy, Bad Bunny and Marcello Hernández Some Mind-Blowing Inventions

Humor / Jokes /

Linus Sebastian stops by The Tonight Show to show cutting-edge technological inventions like lollipops that play music and a laptop with a screen that extends to Jimmy, Bad Bunny and Marcello Hernández.

The Incident - SNL

Humor / Jokes /

In this Cut for Time sketch, a married couple (Teyana Taylor, James Austin Johnson) is worried they were caught having sex.

Talking Clock

Humor / Jokes /

While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong.

"What's that big brass gong for?" one of the guests asked.

"Why, that's the talking clock" the man replied. "Watch", the man said, giving the gong an ear-shattering pound with a hammer.

Suddenly, ...Read more

Angry Neighbor

Humor / Jokes /

A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his neighbor storms out of the house straight to the mailbox, opens it, slams it shut and storms back in.

A little later the neighbor storms out and does the exact same thing again, before storming back in even more red-faced.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, out the neighbor comes ...Read more

Very Bad Accident

Humor / Jokes /

Two men got out of their cars after they collided at an intersection. One took a flask from his pocket and said to the other, "Here, maybe you'd like a nip to calm your nerves."

"Thanks," he said, and took a long pull from the container. "Here, you have one, too," he added, handing back the whiskey.

"Well, I'd rather not," said the first. "At ...Read more

No Bills Larger Than $20

Humor / Jokes /

A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.

There was a big sign posted. "No bills larger than $20 will be accepted."

The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, "Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn't be eating here."

Bottle of Wine

Humor / Jokes /

For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you open a bottle of wine.

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long ...Read more

Lewis Black Goes Off on Gen Z’s Retro Love for Smoking, Tramp Stamps & the Mall | The Daily Show

Humor / Jokes /

Lewis Black takes on Gen Z’s nostalgic penchant for the past and the ridiculous “throwback” fads the younger generation is reviving, including cigarette smoking, “dumb phones” to help them think thoughts, tramp stamps, and the mall.

The Secret Police Fitness Test | Smoking Diplomacy | Sexualized Human-Dog Hybrids At Mar-a-Lago

Humor / Jokes /

We're learning more about what it takes to become an ICE officer, Greenland's diplomatic delegation needed a smoke break after meeting with Vance and Rubio, and the parties at Mar-a-Lago keep getting weirder.

The Muppet Show | Official Trailer | Disney+

Humor / Jokes /

Kermit, Miss Piggy and the beloved Muppets ensemble are back with a brand-new special event. Music, comedy, and a whole lot of chaos are bound to ensue when The Muppets once again take the stage of the original Muppet Theatre with their very special guest, Sabrina Carpenter!

Backstab Island - SNL

Humor / Jokes /

A trailer introduces a new deception-filled competition show.

Elmo and Robin Williams (blooper reel)

Humor / Jokes /

From Sesame Street #2835 "Big Bird's Birthday" or "Let Me Eat Cake" Aired on PBS: 1991.03.15

 

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