Below the Beltway / Entertainment

A Real Khyuty-Pye

WASHINGTON -- I am on the phone with Nancy Wagner of Salina, Kan. Nancy is the grandma of a young lady I have just read about in an ad from the Salina Journal that her parents posted on Facebook. The ad congratulates their daughter for graduating ...

An Infirmary of Punchlines

WASHINGTON -- A few weeks ago in this space, I observed that the best word for a group of teenage girls is not a "gaggle" but a "giggle." Immediately, I got an email from readers Nancy and Richard Downing, who added two more of their own: a "...

The Ouch Potato

WASHINGTON -- You probably think that the most uncomfortable diagnostic procedure a doctor can perform on you, depending on the configuration of your genitalia, is either a finger-intrusive prostate exam or a speculum-intensive pelvic exam. I once...

Holy Chic!

WASHINGTON -- Life is confusing, and sometimes terrifying. To remain sane and grounded, we must jealously hold on to knowledge that anchors us, eternal truths upon which we can rely. Example: Cows moo. Example: Day follows night follows day. ...

Genes True Calling is Calling

WASHINGTON -- Today, yet another installment in my Pulitzer Prize-winning coverage of the plight of the beleaguered customer service representative.

Butterball

Me: I am calling to complain about a freak Butterball turkey that I recently ...

How Bad Jokes Become Shakespearean Sonnets

WASHINGTON -- If you think columnists want all the readers they can get, you have another think coming. Too many readers, too many letters to answer. So from time to time, we like to thin the herd. I do it by rewriting corny old jokes into ...