From the ArcaMax Publishing, Dear Abby Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/dearabby/s-640970-334992
DEAR ABBY: I am a 16-year-old guy in my sophomore year of high school.
I am known as a friendly, outgoing guy who gets along with girls. My
problem is, I used to be one of the biggest jerks who ever was. I was
involved in fighting and other things I won't go into. But I turned my
life around.
I was going out with an amazing girl, "Samantha." She always
kept me in line, but was sweet about it. Recently, because I was
ashamed of my past, I lied to her. She found out about it and,
needless to say, she was very hurt. When I saw how hurt she was, I was
sick to my stomach knowing how much pain I had caused such a trusting
girl.
I want to make things right, but I don't know where to start. I have
talked to her since then, but things aren't the same. Please help. --
LOVESICK IN KENNEWICK, WASH.
DEAR LOVESICK: Apologize again to Samantha for not being completely
truthful with her, and explain that you lied because you were ashamed
about your past behavior and only wanted someone as special as she is
to see you in a good light. Promise never to do it again.
If she likes you as much as you like her, she'll give you another
chance. But remember, from here on you will have to be honest because
if she catches you in another lie, she won't believe another word that
comes out of your mouth. Enough said?
DEAR ABBY: I am blessed with many wonderful friends. We exchange small
gifts on birthdays and at Christmas. As much as I appreciate the
gifts, I am running out of room in my closets because I have too much
stuff. Sometimes the gifts are not to my taste or they don't fit in
with my decor.
How long should I keep an item before I donate it to a thrift shop? Is
it ungracious to give it away? Am I obligated to display or use
something I don't like?
I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I have tried suggesting that
at our ages (50s and 60s) we should cut out the gift-giving, donate
the money to charity and celebrate by going out to lunch on our
birthdays. It didn't go over very well. They all enjoy the exchange of
presents. I am happy to give one, but I really don't need anything
more. Thanks for your help. -- TOO BLESSED IN SANTA ANA, CALIF.
DEAR TOO BLESSED: It's not ungracious to give away something you can't
use -- in fact, the practice is so common there is a name for it. It's
called "regifting." It won't cause hurt feelings as long as
you are careful not to give an item back to the person who give it to
you.
Donating something to a thrift shop is also a practical way to get rid
of it, and you can do it anytime you wish. One person's
"castoff" can be another's treasure. Everybody wins and a
worthwhile charity makes money.
Because you are "thinged out" and prefer divesting to
accumulating, I recommend you stop "suggesting" and have a
frank talk with your friends. Tell them you have everything you need,
that their friendship -- which you already have -- is the most
precious gift they could ever give you, and on birthdays from now on
you'd much prefer meeting for your celebratory lunch, but please to
donate whatever they'd spend on your gift to charity. After that, the
ball's in their court.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne
Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear
Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440,
Los Angeles, CA 90069.
To receive a collection of Abby's most memorable -- and most
frequently requested -- poems and essays, send a business-sized,
self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds)
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61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
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