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Author Bio:
Jeanne Phillips, a.k.a. "Dear Abby," has been the most trusted and popular advice columnist for years. Her daily readership totals more than 95 ...
Read more about Abigail Van Buren.
Jeanne Phillips, a.k.a. "Dear Abby," has been the most trusted and popular advice columnist for years. Her daily readership totals more than 95 ...
Read more about Abigail Van Buren.
THE BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT IS TO GROW OLDER EVERY YEAR
Abigail Van Buren
DEAR ABBY: "49 and Holding" (Dec. 5), who doesn't want her
daughter to give her a 50th birthday party, needs to grow up and learn
to celebrate life instead of hiding from the fact that she's growing
older. She is aging because she's alive -- and what a blessing that
is.
I lived through the worst years of the AIDS epidemic and witnessed the deaths of more than 200 friends -- all of whom would have loved to celebrate a 50th birthday. My mother died at 82 and was grateful for every year, as am I.
Life's milestones warrant a party. Those who don't want to celebrate life and the birthdays that come with it should consider the alternative. -- BRUCE C., ATLANTA
DEAR BRUCE: My readers agreed that "Holding" should quit whining and enjoy life because everyone isn't so fortunate. Growing old is a gift, and it sure does beat the alternative! Read on:
DEAR ABBY: Sorry, 50 is NOT the new 30. Fifty is 50! One of the reasons "Holding" may have issues with aging is this obsession with youth. Youth is definitely transitory, but that doesn't mean one's health, beauty and vibrancy vanish. "Holding" has every right to feel as she does, but I hope she won't continue sitting on the sidelines of life.
By the way, I'll be celebrating my 51st birthday in a few days. My daughter is taking me to Las Vegas to paint the town ... not red (too youthful) but crimson. You definitely DO get better as you age! -- JACQUELINE W., CHANDLER, ARIZ.
DEAR ABBY: I admit that I felt much as "Holding" did until my sister told me that, for her, turning 50 was an exceptionally freeing experience. It's true. At that age, I realized I wasn't going to be the CEO of the company I worked for, that I had a job I enjoyed, that my family was there for me in whatever I chose to pursue, and that there were places on this planet I wanted to visit (and have). I have found it difficult finding a downside to being 50.
Age is in your head, Abby. I've met 10-year-olds who are eons past 50, and 70-year-olds who are as curious, inquisitive and active as people far younger. So I say, go for it proudly. -- PAST 50 AND FABULOUS
DEAR ABBY: Everyone regards aging differently, but why be depressed over something you can't control? When I turned 50, I decided I could either be depressed and drink myself silly or celebrate the milestone.
I declared to my family, friends and co-workers that it was my year and my goal was to do 50 things I had never done before -- or hadn't done in a long time. I reconnected with neglected friends, went on my first cruise, stayed in a haunted hotel. While I didn't quite make it to 50 things (I made it to 30), it was fun trying, and everyone had a blast in the process. -- 50-PLUS AND DEALING WITH IT
DEAR ABBY: At 36 I was diagnosed with cancer. My son was only 5. As radiation treatments pulsed through my body in the hope of giving me more life, I wondered if those would be his last memories of me.
Fast forward 13 years. I am 49 and holding -- with one major difference. I look forward to each and every birthday. In a few months, I'll turn 50. And do you know what looks even better than my 50th birthday? My 60th!
Birthdays are a celebration of life, a reminder that we have the good fortune to be with the people who mean the most to us. -- THANKFUL FOR EACH AND EVERY DAY
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Good advice for everyone -- teens to seniors -- is in "The Anger in All of Us and How to Deal With It." To order, send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby -- Anger Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in the price.)
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This news arrived on: 02/09/2010
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Posted Comments:
02-09-2010 14:24
Sandy in Wisconsin wrote:
Turning older
Oops, I hit the post button before finished.
He enjoys each day given to him to the fullest. He often says, "I'm too ornery for the devil, and God doesn't want me yet because my duties aren't done on this earth." Such a great attitude! People find it hard to believe by his looks, and the fact he still walks on his own, that he's turning 100 this year.
So anyone who can't be the age they are, as others have said, think of the alternative!
He enjoys each day given to him to the fullest. He often says, "I'm too ornery for the devil, and God doesn't want me yet because my duties aren't done on this earth." Such a great attitude! People find it hard to believe by his looks, and the fact he still walks on his own, that he's turning 100 this year.
So anyone who can't be the age they are, as others have said, think of the alternative!
02-09-2010 14:23
Sandy in Wisconsin wrote:
Turning older
Oops, I hit the post button before finished.
He enjoys each day given to him to the fullest. He often says, "I'm too ornery for the devil, and God doesn't want me yet because my duties aren't done on this earth." Such a great attitude! People find it hard to believe by his looks, and the fact he still walks on his own, that he's turning 100 this year.
So anyone who can't be the age they are, as others have said, think of the alternative!
He enjoys each day given to him to the fullest. He often says, "I'm too ornery for the devil, and God doesn't want me yet because my duties aren't done on this earth." Such a great attitude! People find it hard to believe by his looks, and the fact he still walks on his own, that he's turning 100 this year.
So anyone who can't be the age they are, as others have said, think of the alternative!
02-09-2010 14:23
Sandy in Wisconsin wrote:
Turning older
Oops, I hit the post button before finished.
He enjoys each day given to him to the fullest. He often says, "I'm too ornery for the devil, and God doesn't want me yet because my duties aren't done on this earth." Such a great attitude! People find it hard to believe by his looks, and the fact he still walks on his own, that he's turning 100 this year.
So anyone who can't be the age they are, as others have said, think of the alternative!
He enjoys each day given to him to the fullest. He often says, "I'm too ornery for the devil, and God doesn't want me yet because my duties aren't done on this earth." Such a great attitude! People find it hard to believe by his looks, and the fact he still walks on his own, that he's turning 100 this year.
So anyone who can't be the age they are, as others have said, think of the alternative!
02-09-2010 14:14
Sandy in Wisconsin wrote:
Turning older
Last year my father's grandson wanted to have a 99 year b.day party for my father, and he told his grandson, "Thanks, but no thanks. I'm going to wait for my 100th bash next year. Well, next year is here, just waiting for July to roll around, and guess what, he'll have that 100th bash, with lots and lots of people helping him to celebrate! And he still lives alone in the house he was raised in!
02-09-2010 14:06
James wrote:
EOE and nan
The original LW wasn't lying about her age, she just wasn't happy about turning 50. Maybe a loved one died at 50 so she relates it to something unhappy. We just don't know. But, it's her decision to handle it any way SHE chooses, not the way you, me or her daughter chooses. As far as lying about one's age, who cares? IMHO, that's a subject that should be thrown in the same box as which way the toilet paper goes and which direction the pillow cases face.
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