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Jeanne Phillips, a.k.a. "Dear Abby," has been the most trusted and popular advice columnist for years. Her daily readership totals more than 95 ...
Read more about Abigail Van Buren.
Jeanne Phillips, a.k.a. "Dear Abby," has been the most trusted and popular advice columnist for years. Her daily readership totals more than 95 ...
Read more about Abigail Van Buren.
Family Incredulous At Birth Of Unexpected Bundle Of Joy
Abigail Van Buren
DEAR ABBY: Our son "Sean" is 20 and has been going with a
girl 2 1/2 years older than he is. I'll call her "Taryn."
When we first met Taryn we liked her very much. She was chubby, and
Sean told us she was on a diet. We found out later Taryn was 5 1/2
months pregnant.
As time went on, she grew larger and larger. We asked Sean if she could be pregnant. He told us he had asked her and she said no, that she was just built like her mother. (She told her co-workers the same thing.)
Late one night, our surprised and upset son called to tell us Taryn had just delivered a full-term, 7-pound baby boy. Her doctor and her friends have all said she didn't know what was going on. Even after the baby was born, she asked the doctor "what was happening." She couldn't believe she'd had a baby. Taryn told Sean she had had her period the whole nine months and never felt the baby move.
The doctor told my son that some girls don't know when they are pregnant, so now he believes her! We have had many family discussions about this. I am the mother of six children, and I always knew when I was pregnant.
Is it possible that she didn't know she was pregnant, even though she had been asked directly more than once? We feel Taryn has been lying to Sean the whole time. We haven't seen her since the birth. She's living with and being supported by her parents. Sean loves Taryn and the baby and plans to marry her and adopt the boy. Please help us. -- FLABBERGASTED PARENTS IN NEW MEXICO
DEAR PARENTS: Although it is highly unusual, it is not unheard of for a woman to conceive and carry a baby to term without knowing she's pregnant. It does stretch the imagination -- among other things -- for her to deliver the baby and still ask what's going on. Because her doctor says this was the case with Taryn, who are we to say otherwise?
Please remember, your son is in love with this young woman. He plans to marry her. So your wisest course of action would be to accept Taryn and the baby and make the best of this uncomfortable situation. To do otherwise will estrange your son from you. Also, it's clear your daughter-in-law-to-be needs the mentoring of as many mature women in her life as possible.
DEAR ABBY: In the past few years several of my friends moved out of state. Before they left, they gave me items they couldn't take along. They said I could keep the stuff or have a yard sale.
Now these friends have returned and are asking for their things back. I feel like I was used as a temporary storage facility. This has happened to me three different times.
I have been using the items as mine, feeling they belonged to me. I think I'm being used. How should I respond to these people? -- RESENTFUL IN SUNNY CALIFORNIA
DEAR RESENTFUL: Because these people gave you the items to do with as you wished -- to keep or to sell -- they belong to you. How you respond to their request depends upon how much you value their friendship, because your refusal to return them could become a bone of contention.
In the future when someone asks to leave furniture with you, make sure to have the terms put clearly in writing. Because this has happened to you three different times, there appears to have been a serious breakdown in communication somewhere along the line.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
For an excellent guide to becoming a better conversationalist and a more attractive person, order "How to Be Popular." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $6 (U.S. funds only) to: Dear Abby Popularity Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included.)
COPYRIGHT 2008 UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of uclick and Universal Press Syndicate.
This news arrived on: 07/19/2008
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Posted Comments:
07-19-2008 16:53
Truth wrote:
Unexpected Baby
I was pregnant and did not know. I didn't find out until I was four months along and had to go the hospital after I had injured myself at work. Imagine my husbands and my surprise when the Dr. said "Did you know you were pregnant?" I had been told by my OB that I would have great difficulty conceiving and my husband had been told by his Dr. that he was as good as sterile due to chemo treatments. My pregnancy wasn't supposed to happen!
My body had no symptoms of pregnancy. I still had a reg. period and I hadn't gained any weight. If I hadn't been hurt, I wouldn't have known. According to my blood tests, I wasn't pregnant. They only found the baby because they had to do an ultrasound on my abdomen to check for soft tissue injury.
Our daughter is four now and I go every four months to the OB to be checked via ultrasound for another pregnancy. So, yes, this does happen. It's rare, but there are women who don't know and sometimes the blood tests don't even work.
My body had no symptoms of pregnancy. I still had a reg. period and I hadn't gained any weight. If I hadn't been hurt, I wouldn't have known. According to my blood tests, I wasn't pregnant. They only found the baby because they had to do an ultrasound on my abdomen to check for soft tissue injury.
Our daughter is four now and I go every four months to the OB to be checked via ultrasound for another pregnancy. So, yes, this does happen. It's rare, but there are women who don't know and sometimes the blood tests don't even work.
07-19-2008 15:59
Gail wrote:
I have a dear friend who has had 2 births now without knowing she was pregnant. THe first one was a shock to all of us as it was her. THe doctor said her body didnt respond as it should and let her know she was pregnant nor did her daughter, the first born. SHe never kicked. WHen she got pregnant again I noticed she was gain a bit of weight. She never got very big during either pregnancy. But I asked her to go have her doctor check just to be sure. She was pregnant again with her son. SO yes it can happen that a woman doesn't realize she is pregnant.
07-19-2008 12:01
Me Too! wrote:
Flabergasted
I too was 8 1/2 months before I found out. I hadn't been with anyone for quite a few years, then only twice, never got sick,my priod was always eratic,I was always somewhat large, and beause I had "cleansed myself" I had broken the placenta so I hadn't gotten very big.the poor little guy was surviving on his own urin.When I was having pains for two weeks I went in and discovered I had been in false labor for 2 weeks!
He was a little over 3pds is 12 now and doing great.
He was a little over 3pds is 12 now and doing great.
07-19-2008 09:35
Izzy in Minneapolis wrote:
Immaculate Conception and Resentful
I say "resentful" ought to get out a contract when her friends go out of town, have them sign it, whereby acknowledging that these items are hers to keep and do with them as she pleases. And at the bottom of the contract she should put a disclaimer--NOTICE: MY HOME IS NOT A STORAGE FACILITY, BUT IF YOU WISH TO USE IT IN THAT MANNER, ITEMS ARE SUBJECT TO STORAGE FEES. I guarantee these "friends" will not return nor ask you to hold items for them.
As for Flabbergasted--it's called an immaculate conception--when we're talking about the Virgin Mary. This girl was no virgin, she knew what she was doing, and believe me, the baby probably isn't his, either. I suggest he get a paternity test, and that you relax. If it is his baby, then he needs to do the grown-up thing; get a job, and support his baby.
As for Flabbergasted--it's called an immaculate conception--when we're talking about the Virgin Mary. This girl was no virgin, she knew what she was doing, and believe me, the baby probably isn't his, either. I suggest he get a paternity test, and that you relax. If it is his baby, then he needs to do the grown-up thing; get a job, and support his baby.
07-19-2008 09:23
resentful wrote:
items to return
i believe if someone gives you something, then it belongs to you. and as for them wanting the items back means they aren't a real friend in the first place. been there in oklahoma.
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