The Hummer may be history but there are still ways to stick you finger in the eye of political correctness. Such as buying an Infiniti Q56.
It is Elvis in full rhinestone flower, circa '74 and the Hawaii special. A no-holds-barred, joltin' juggernaut of gaudiness. A 14 MPG, $60,000 spectacle of unashamed consumption - 22 inch wheels spitting rooster tails of sod across Al Gore's lawn. If you hate him and all he stands for, you will love the Q56.
WHAT IT IS
The Q56 is a super-sized, ultra-luxury SUV. Room for eight plus stuff. 400 hp V-8. Six thousand pounds at the curb. Big fish, swallow you whole (apologies to Capt. Quint).
Base price is $59,200. With options such as the $3,000 Technology Package, the $4,100 Deluxe Touring Package and the $2,950 Theater Package, that can run quickly to $70-plus large in no time at all.
Sort-of competitors include the more demure - and physically smaller - Lexus LX570 and the similarly sizable and ostentatious but more street-minded (because AWD, without Low range gearing) Cadillac Escalade.
WHAT'S NEW FOR
The Q was all-new last year, so updates for 2012 are subtle such as changing package combos and the addition of an "active" blind spot/lane departure warning system that beeps at you if you begin to wander over the double yellow - and course-corrects for you if you don't.
Despite its massive size, it handles pretty well on road. Six-something seconds to 60, despite 6,000 lbs. at the curb.