From the ArcaMax Publishing, Family Film Reviews Newsletter:
http://www.arcamax.com/news/familyfilms/s-361863-821600
"The Incredible Hulk" (PG-13, 1 hr., 54 min.)
This new big-screen take on the Marvel Comics anti-hero is lighter on
its giant green feet than the grim 2003 movie ("Hulk," PG-13). It has
the frenetic energy of a chase thriller such as "The Bourne Ultimatum"
(PG-13, 2007), though its dialogue scenes don't exactly crackle and at
times are just plain lame, as if director Louis Leterrier wasn't as
interested in the slow, quiet stuff. Even so, "The Incredible Hulk"
is largely an entertaining ride. It takes place five years after
scientist Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) was caught in an experiment
gone wrong and afflicted with "gamma sickness." Whenever he gets
angry, he morphs into the superstrong, wild-eyed, seething, very green
Hulk (voiced by one-time TV Hulk Lou Ferrigno, who also appears in a
cameo). Yes, he is one big metaphor.
Banner has been living incognito in a Brazilian slum, working at a
bottling plant, practicing anger management, and hiding from the
amoral Gen. Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross (William Hurt), who wants to
use Banner's freakish condition to create uber-soldiers. Ross figures
out where Banner lives and sends commandos to capture him, but they
arrive just as bullies have picked a fight with him and he has become
the Hulk after months of keeping his alter ego at bay. He pounds the
bullies, then escapes, eventually making his way to the college where
his love, fellow scientist Betty (Liv Tyler), the general's estranged
daughter, teaches. Stunned to see him, but still in love, Betty tries
to help. It is their almost-love scenes and lackluster dialogue that
let the movie get dippy now and then. Meanwhile, the lead commando,
Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth), demands to be given the same poison that
damaged Banner, in hopes of enhancing his own strength for their next
fight, which is a deafening doozy.
The movie is fine for most high-schoolers, but some moments could
freak out more sensitive middle-schoolers. There are huge hypodermic
needles and gross morphing scenes when Banner transforms into the
Hulk, and when Blonsky becomes Hulk's far ickier nemesis, the
Abomination, with vertebrae bursting out of his huge lizard-headed
frame. The chases, helicopter crashes, car-hurling and massive gun
battles are lively, loud and long, but not exceptionally graphic.
There is also semi-crude language, a brief nonexplicit sexual
situation and cigar smoking.
Beyond the Ratings Game: Movie Reviews for various
ages
-- FINE FOR KIDS 6 AND OLDER:
"Kung Fu Panda" PG -- A pudgy panda in ancient China dreams of
being a Kung Fu master in this riotous, artfully animated treat. "Kung
Fu Panda" doesn't use cheap pop-culture jokes or double-entendres. It
unfolds as a classic hero's journey among animal characters, with
deliciously inventive verbal and visual humor. Po the panda (voice of
Jack Black) lives with his dad, a goose named Mr. Ping (James Hong),
and works in the family noodle shop, wishing he could be a hero
instead. One day, Kung Fu master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) holds a
contest at the local palace between the Furious Five -- Tigress
(Angelina Jolie), Mantis (Seth Rogen), Monkey (Jackie Chan), Viper
(Lucy Liu) and Crane (David Cross). The winner will fulfill a prophecy
and defeat the evil snow leopard Tai Lung (Ian McShane). Po, in his
lumbering efforts to get over the palace walls to see the contest,
crash-lands in front of Shifu and the ancient turtle Oogway (Randall
Duk Kim). Oogway decides Po is destined to fulfill the prophecy and
Shifu grudgingly trains him. These sequences are a riot. Po's
self-doubts and the message about being "your own hero" will resonate.
Fine fare for most kids 6 and older, and many kindergartners, the film
does contain intense fights, but the action is very stylized. The
yellow-eyed snow leopard may scare the littlest kids. There is a line
about Po getting hit in "the tenders."
-- MORE FOR 10 AND OLDER:
"The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian" PG -- Plenty of kids
10 and older will dive happily into this second installment, but a
familiarity with the first film ("The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion,
the Witch and the Wardrobe," PG, 2005), or with the books by C.S.
Lewis would help, as the new film assumes prior knowledge. "Prince
Caspian" is a solid enough fantasy/epic, but slower, darker and less
funny than the first film, more sword-and-sorcery than storybook. The
four Pevensie kids -- Lucy (Georgie Henley), Peter (William Moseley),
Edmund (Skandar Keynes) and Susan (Anna Popplewell) -- are back in
World War II-era London. Thirteen-hundred years have passed in Narnia
time. The magical land and its creatures are ruled by the evil human,
Miraz (Sergio Castellitto), who plots against his nephew, Prince
Caspian (bland Ben Barnes), the true heir to the throne. Caspian
sounds a magical horn and the Pevensies are whisked back. Battle
scenes push the PG limit, implying that arrows and blades pierce
flesh. Kids under 10 may cringe at a charging bear and two demons. The
film begins with an intense childbirth scene. Christian parable
aspects of Lewis' tale are subtle. Kids of any faith can enjoy it.
-- PG-13s OF VARYING INTENSITY:
"The Incredible Hulk" (NEW) -- This new big-screen take on the
Marvel Comics anti-hero is lighter on its feet than the tiresome 2003
"Hulk" (PG-13). It has the frenetic energy of a good chase thriller,
though its dialogue and quiet scenes could use more crackle. Still,
"The Incredible Hulk" is a largely entertaining, if deafening ride,
with stunningly wrought fight scenes. It takes place five years after
scientist Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) was afflicted with "gamma
sickness" in an experiment gone wrong. When he gets angry, Banner
morphs into the powerful, green, seething Hulk (voiced here by
one-time TV Hulk Lou Ferrigno). He has been hiding out in a Brazilian
slum, working at a bottling plant, practicing anger management and
avoiding Gen. Thaddeus "Thunderbolt" Ross (William Hurt), who wants to
harness the Hulk syndrome for the military. Ross figures out where
Banner lives and sends commandos to capture him, but they arrive just
as bullies have picked a fight with Banner and he has become the Hulk.
He escapes, then makes his way to the college where his love, Betty
(Liv Tyler), the general's estranged daughter, teaches. Ross' lead
commando Emil Blonsky (Tim Roth) asks to be exposed to the same
experiment, in hopes of enhancing his own strength. The chases,
helicopter crashes and massive gun battles are loud and long, but not
especially graphic. However, middle-schoolers may blanch at huge
hypodermic needles and scenes in which Banner morphs into the Hulk,
and Blonsky becomes Hulk's nemesis, the huge Abomination, with his
backbone popping out of his giant frame. There is also some semi-crude
language, a brief nonexplicit sexual situation, and cigar smoking.
"You Don't Mess with the Zohan" -- Adam Sandler messes with the
Israeli-Palestinian dispute in miniature here, but his farce
trivializes the conflict. High-schoolers will learn little about the
issues, but a lot about hummus and stereotypes. There are
laugh-out-loud moments, but the bawdy humor makes the film too lewd
for middle-schoolers. Sandler plays Israeli Army commando Zohan, whose
real passions are hairstyling and sex. During a shootout with a
terrorist (John Turturro), Zohan fakes his own death, travels to New
York, lands a job at a Palestinian-owned salon run by the lovely Dalia
(Emmanuelle Chriqui), and is stunned to see Israelis and Palestinians
living peaceably on the block. He quickly becomes the stylist/seducer
of ladies over 60. The movie runs on crude sexual slang and innuendo,
strongly implied sexual situations and crotch gags. The violence is
comedic, too. There are ethnic slurs, gay jokes and mild profanity.
"Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" -- Nearly
20 years after "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" (PG-13, 1989),
this belated fourth chapter offers flashes of high amusement, yet
feels a little forced, a little cobbled-together and at times a little
dull. It is 1957. Intrepid archeologist Indiana Jones at 60-plus is
still wry and athletic. The film opens with him held captive by KGB
agents led by a rapier-wielding woman (Cate Blanchett). Jones escapes,
but loses his teaching job when the red-baiting FBI doubts his story.
Mutt (Shia LaBeouf), a young Marlon Brando wannabe, brings news that a
colleague (John Hurt) has been kidnapped in the Peruvian jungle after
finding an ancient crystal skull. Jones and Mutt go to Peru and face
tribesmen and KGB. Aside from near-bloodless gunplay and fights, there
are wild stunts (a few of which fall a tad flat) and chases. Under-10s
may cower at man-eating ants, scorpions, mummified skeletons,
zombie-like creatures and a shattering nuclear test. There is mild
profanity and drinking. OK for most teens and preteens, but adults may
need to explain the Cold War.
"Iron Man" -- Spun off its Marvel Comics roots, this superhero
flick is smartly written, crisply acted and elegantly designed, with
gasp-inducing action and flashes of intellectual and moral heft. It
is, however, too long, and jihadist villains seem a cheesy choice.
Robert Downey Jr. exudes both hip and cool as weapons magnate Tony
Stark, who is injured and captured by Afghan insurgents. He survives
thanks to insertion by a fellow captive of a glowing electromagnetic
device in his chest to keep shrapnel out of his heart, then secretly
builds a weaponized, robotic suit of armor and escapes. He announces
he will no longer sell weapons and builds a supersonic armored suit so
he can protect the innocent. The violence is thunderous, but nearly
bloodless. It includes implied torture, images of surgery and Afghan
families threatened at gunpoint. There is profanity, a nongraphic
sexual situation, mild sexual innuendo and drinking. OK for teens who
can handle war scenes.
-- R's:
"The Happening" (NEW) -- The very leaves on the trees turn
against humanity in this cautionary thriller about an airborne,
foliage-bred toxin that breezes through New York's Central Park,
disorienting people and causing them to commit suicide. The phenomenon
quickly wafts across the Eastern seaboard. This R-rated fable is not
writer/director M. Night Shyamalan's best work ("The Sixth Sense,"
PG-13, 1999), nor his weakest ("Lady in the Water," PG-13, 2006). It
is likely to grab high-schoolers with its well-drawn characters,
strong emotions and neatly dramatized post-9/11 sense of dread. That
noted, the dialogue can get clunky and the later catastrophes drolly
repetitive. Yet in its understated creepiness, the movie echoes the
great old "Twilight Zone" TV show (1959-64). Mark Wahlberg plays
Elliott, a kindhearted Philadelphia high-school science teacher. He,
his wife (Zooey Deschanel), his pal (John Leguizamo), and his pal's
little daughter (Ashlyn Sanchez) flee to the countryside with other
evacuees, the toxin at their heels. The film is a mildish R, but
includes strongly implied hanging and gun suicides (the gunshots just
off-camera), and people jumping off buildings. There are also graphic
gun murders and a scene in which a zoo lion tears off a man's arms.
There is mild profanity and sexual innuendo. OK for most
high-schoolers.
"Sex and the City" -- As a sequel to HBO's hit series, this
prolonged celebration of self-absorption feels like an endless,
vacuous soap opera, despite the fab clothes and racy repartee. One
hopes that girls 17 and older will at least acknowledge the crass
consumption that fuels the four fashionista friends of "Sex and the
City" as much as romance. Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker), the
narrator and chronicler of their adventures, plans to wed wealthily
with her on-again-off-again love, Mr. Big (Chris Noth). Miranda
(Cynthia Nixon) is a harried wife and mother, stunned when husband
Steve (David Eigenberg) confesses an infidelity. Charlotte (Kristin
Davis) is a mom and happily married to Harry (Evan Handler), but
scared her luck won't last. Samantha (Kim Cattrall), the most
promiscuous pal, lives with her actor-lover (Jason Lewis) in L.A. and
is bored. The film's forgiveness, love and friendship finale doesn't
make up for what comes before. There are explicit sexual situations,
sexual language, nudity, crude humor, profanity and drinking. Not for
under-17s.
"The Strangers" -- Three masked home invaders toy with a
terrified couple, then turn violent in this worst-nightmare scarefest.
"The Strangers" leaves you with an appropriately clammy feeling, but
offers little in the way of actual entertainment, as it is a dour
enterprise. James (Scott Speedman) and Kristen (Liv Tyler, whose
deer-in-the-headlights acting doesn't help) are just home from a party
and have had a falling out. There is a knock at the door -- a girl
standing in the shadows asks for someone who doesn't live there. Later
the knocking resumes and escalates into terror. The film contains a
bloody shooting, stabbings, a steamy but nongraphic sex scene,
occasional profanity and smoking. OK for hardy teens 16 and older.