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Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar work together on "Annie's Mailbox," a unique advice column written for the modern reader. The two began their ...
Read more about Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar.
Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar work together on "Annie's Mailbox," a unique advice column written for the modern reader. The two began their ...
Read more about Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar.
Annie's Mailbox
Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar
Dear Annie: My son's girlfriend is pregnant with my grandson. They've
been together five years. The problem is, "Rona" would rather text
than talk. She's 27, and I'm sure she talks to her parents and
sisters, but when it comes to my daughter or me, she can only find
time to text or e-mail.
It is so frustrating. Worse, it's easy for her to take things the wrong way when she can't hear your voice. I saved her texts from an argument we had a while back and showed them to my son so he would know that she had lied. She doesn't know it, but she has been caught in several lies over the years.
I am ready to have my texting privileges removed from my cell phone so if Rona needs something, she'll have to call. My daughter, also pregnant, wants to be close to her brother, but her husband and Rona despise each other. My daughter continues to invite them over, and they always have an excuse not to come. I know Rona doesn't want a close relationship.
My question is, how do I explain to Rona that I would rather talk than write? Should I tell her about the lies or leave it alone? I have gone out of my way to get close to her, but everyone keeps saying she is not right for my son. Please give me some advice. I'm ready for -- Relief in Tennessee
Dear Tennessee: Your son already knows about the lies and the fact that Rona doesn't want to be close to his family, but he still has chosen her. The new baby will only cement that bond. You are not going to split them up. Instead, find something to like about this young woman if it kills you.
Rona prefers texting because she gets nervous talking to you, so when you want to hear her voice, you'll have to be the one to call, and we recommend you do so often. Perhaps the new baby will give you both an opportunity to be more comfortable around each other. Please keep trying.
Dear Annie: My whole family has gone commercial over Christmas. My kids received over 100 gifts last year. I know everyone gives out of love, but how can my kids get a proper view of Christmas with this kind of indulgence? My wife's parents gave so many presents they ran out of paper. Even those who are tight with money gave too much. It's not that I am ungrateful. I just feel the meaning is totally lost.
I have suggested to my wife that we ask for donations instead, and while she likes the idea, she is afraid someone's feelings would be hurt. I would rather have one homemade gift and nothing else, but it looks unlikely.
I am losing my love for the holiday. How can I get the true meaning back in Christmas? -- The Other Charlie Brown in Louisville, Ky.
Dear Charlie: If you cannot get the relatives to stop showering you with presents, simply pack most of them up and donate them to charity (the presents, not the relatives). Someone, somewhere will appreciate these items enormously. Use this as an opportunity to show your children that giving to those in need is the most rewarding gift of all.
Dear Annie: The advice to "Kansas Bride" was way off when you told her to ignore her husband's attempts to touch her breasts in public.
I had to tell my husband not to talk about our sex life in public or we wouldn't have one, and that if he touched me disrespectfully in public, he wouldn't get any that day. Worked perfectly and I never had to enforce it. -- Tough Love
Dear Tough: That approach can be quite effective, provided you are willing to follow through. And we have no doubt you would have.
Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.
Copyright 2009 Creators Syndicate Inc.
This news arrived on: 10/18/2009
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Posted Comments:
10-19-2009 00:55
Lorrainepttsfld wrote:
The Other Charlie Brown
I think their advice is wrong. Don't give the gifts away because your family members might get upset and think the gifts aren't good enough for you and your kids. I'd just keep telling them that Christmas is about Christ, not deluging people with gifts. If you have to tell them 80 times a day, then do it from now until Christmas. If they still give you a lot of presents, then just give them back. They have the receipts from the stores and demand they take them back. Period. Just explain you meant what you said. No presents.
10-18-2009 15:32
Lou wrote:
Charlie and the meaning of Christmas
My church sets up an "Angel Tree" every year, decorated with homemade paper ornaments. Each homemade ornament contains the first name of a poor child in the community along with his age and sex and an item this child would love to receive for Christmas.
The idea is that you take an ornament, purchase the gift, wrap it, and place it under the tree with the paper ornament attached. These gifts would then be delivered to children who would not get Christmas gifts otherwise.
This is what my own kids did for the less fortunate children of our community.
The idea is that you take an ornament, purchase the gift, wrap it, and place it under the tree with the paper ornament attached. These gifts would then be delivered to children who would not get Christmas gifts otherwise.
This is what my own kids did for the less fortunate children of our community.
10-18-2009 05:41
East of Eden wrote:
Charlie
The idea of giving a donation in your children's names is a great idea. Suggest that and see what happens. If they insist on giving lots of presents, do donate them to a charity - they will be very much appreciated by some less fortunate children.
10-18-2009 05:39
East of Eden wrote:
Tennessee
Don't reply to her text messages. There. Problem solved. Also, don't argue with her - just don't get into it. I have an acquaintance who is provocative so when he says or texts something which could lead to an argument, I just ignore it. Nobody is forcing you to text her back so don't. If she doesn't want to be close, don't force it - she is not obligated to have a close relationship with you. As for your son in-law and her - not your business; let them sort it out.
Be aloof and accept the fact that the GF is not warm to you - that's life. Above all, if you don't like text messaging, then don't reply. Period.
Be aloof and accept the fact that the GF is not warm to you - that's life. Above all, if you don't like text messaging, then don't reply. Period.
10-18-2009 05:33
Lorelei wrote:
Touching Breasts In Public
No woman should ignore being touched in a manner she doesn't want, whether in public or private. I can't imagine any woman wanting to be groped in public, nor the mindset of a man who thinks that is the proper way to show his love and passion for his wife. Strippers are mauled in public because they are on public display in all their (?) sexuality; wives and girlfriends are not.
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