Politics, Moderate



Second stimulus check unlikely, but Americans will get free ‘Went Broke For Amy Coney Barrett!’ T-shirts

By Rex Huppke, Tribune Content Agency on

A second stimulus check for American workers struggling through the coronavirus pandemic is unlikely to come anytime soon. That’s the bad news.

The good news for people unable to pay rent or buy luxury products like food or shoes for their children is that their sacrifice will help Republican lawmakers maintain their long-standing commitment to being profoundly unhelpful to people who aren’t wealthy. It will also give Republicans in the U.S. Senate the time they need to rush conservative Judge Amy Coney Barrett onto the U.S. Supreme Court.

Don’t worry. I’m sure every American who would have received a stimulus check and every business that might have benefited from a second COVID-19 relief package will get a T-shirt that reads: “I Went Broke To Get Amy Coney Barrett On the Supreme Court!”

And that’s a really nice thing to have.

On Tuesday, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, sipping a warm cup of orphan tears, told his Republican colleagues/co-conspirators that voting on a roughly $2 trillion relief deal being worked out between House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin might delay the Senate’s plan to render the word “hypocrisy” meaningless by seating a new Supreme Court justice days before an election.

McConnell also worries a relief bill that could help American families might divide Republican lawmakers, many of whom have a long-standing commitment to callously disregarding the needs of the people they serve.


Coronavirus cases are surging in states across the country, raising the likelihood of new economic shutdowns that would threaten restaurants, bars and other businesses already failing to make ends meet. The unemployment rate remains high and Americans are wildly in favor of lawmakers passing a new stimulus package.

A CNBC/Change Research poll released Tuesday found that 66 percent of likely voters believe the Senate should make coronavirus relief its top priority, with only 34 percent saying Barrett’s nomination to the high court should be the priority.

Again, this sounds like a clear-cut chance for Republican senators to help Americans in a time of crisis and follow the will of the people. But it overlooks one key factor: Republican senators don’t want to do either of those things.

And trust me, it will be fine, because every soon-to-be homeless American will receive a 100 percent cotton T-shirt that reads: “I Lost My Home And Business So Republican Senators Could Maintain Their Conservative Bona Fides, And All I Got Was This Amazing T-shirt And A Chance To Lift Myself Up By My Bootstraps!”


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