Time for the White House to 'Unleash the Genius'
It's time for the president's attorneys and other handlers to stop waffling and let our stable genius president do what he believes he does best: Win.
NBC News on Monday reported: "Anticipating that special counsel Robert Mueller will ask to interview President Donald Trump, the president's legal team is discussing a range of potential options for the format, including written responses to questions in lieu of a formal sit-down."
Written responses? Give me a break.
The report also said attorneys are considering "an affidavit signed by the president affirming he was innocent of any wrongdoing and denying any collusion" and "debating whether it would be possible to simply avoid" an in-person interview with Mueller.
What a pack of extremely nonstable nongeniuses these attorneys must be to even consider these options.
When you've got a stable genius in your stable, you don't hold him back, you let that brilliant bronco loose and shout, "Good luck ropin' that one, Mueller! Yeeeee-hah!!"
President Trump is a very, very smart man. He'll tell you that, and I can't imagine any of his supporters would disagree.
Trump has said definitively and without equivocation that Mueller's Russia probe is a witch hunt. At Camp David on Saturday, Trump said: "Just so you understand, there's been no collusion, there's been no crime, and in theory everybody tells me I'm not under investigation. ... When you've done nothing wrong, let's be open and get it over with. Because, honestly, it's very, very bad for our country. It's making our country look foolish. And this is a country that I don't want looking foolish. And it's not gonna look foolish as long as I'm here."
There you have it, folks. Straight from the stable mouth of the stable genius.
Why on Earth would Trump set aside his greatest asset -- himself and his fantastic words -- to avoid an interview with noted nongenius Mueller?
If you believe in your president, if you admire his intellect and integrity, if you think him wholly innocent of any wrongdoing, wouldn't you cheer him on to meet these witch-hunting investigators face-to-face and answer all of their questions?
I'm sure it wouldn't even be a fair fight for Mueller to face off against Trump who is, like, very smart and known for mental stability.
So let's do it, Trump believers. Call on the administration to Unleash the Genius. (#UnleashTheGenius.)
Let's get this Russia business over with so Trump can continue his presidency unburdened, free to remind us, in fits of unrivaled mental stability, that he is probably the most intelligent president of all time.
(Rex Huppke is a columnist for the Chicago Tribune and a noted hypocrisy enthusiast. You can email him at firstname.lastname@example.org or follow him on Twitter at @RexHuppke.)