Politics, Moderate

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Politics

Time for the White House to 'Unleash the Genius'

By Rex Huppke, Tribune Content Agency on

There are two things we know for certain:

1) President Donald Trump is a genius. A stable one, at that.

2) Special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation of Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election is a witch hunt and there was absolutely no collusion between the Trump campaign and the Russian government.

We know those two things are accurate because Trump said them and geniuses don't lie. (Lying isn't a smart thing to do and geniuses are, by definition, very smart. Ipso facto, no genius has ever lied.)

How do I know Trump is a genius? Simple. It's a well-established fact that all geniuses self-identify.

The equation at the heart of Albert Einstein's theory of special relativity is often truncated by the liberal media as "E = mc2," but what he wrote was actually: "E = mc2, oh my God, I'm a genius. And not just a regular genius but, like, the biggest genius of all time!"

 

Also, while liberal scientists have attempted to erase all but the first part of this statement, Sir Isaac Newton once said: "To any action there is always an opposite and equal reaction, and I should know because I'm a tremendous genius. I mean, did anyone else discover gravity before me? No. GENIUS!"

In keeping with those great thinkers, Trump tweeted over the weekend that "throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart." He then, like, noted that he is "a very stable genius."

There's no way for us nongeniuses to argue with that, so it must be true. Also, since former FBI Director Mueller has never publicly claimed to be a genius, he must not be one.

This gives us an obvious intellectual mismatch. And you don't have to be a genius to see that the Trump administration can bring the Russia investigation to a swift conclusion by using a tactic I've dubbed "Unleashing the Genius."

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