Smashing Keurigs and fat-shaming dictators -- is this real life?
This a note to any sane people still out there in the wilds of Weird America.
I need your help. I need you to reach out and tell me if the things I'm seeing are real, as my ability to distinguish truth from fiction has been tested, stretched to its limits, and my tenuous grasp on reality grows weaker each day.
I awoke this weekend to online videos of Americans either throwing coffee-making machines out second-story windows or smashing them with golf clubs. The widespread assassination of small household appliances seemed bizarre in and of itself, but the explanation for such group-think behavior strained credulity even more: Fans of Fox News host Sean Hannity were angry because coffee maker company Keurig stopped advertising on his show after he seemed to defend Republican U.S. Senate nominee Roy Moore against allegations that Moore had inappropriate sexual contact with a minor.
So these patriotic, conservative Hannity groupies were standing up for an accused child molester by destroying an expensive coffee maker they bought with their own money, a coffee maker that, it's worth noting, many liberals don't like because it uses small plastic pods that are bad for the environment.
Is this really happening?
The evidence against Moore is substantial enough that many Republicans and Republican fundraising entities are abandoning the former Alabama judge. On Monday morning, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said Moore should exit the race.
"I think he should step aside," McConnell said, acknowledging the women who have accused Moore of sexual misconduct. "I believe the women, yes."
But Hannity had already announced on Twitter that he was giving away 500 coffee makers (presumably the non-Keurig variety) to his "Deplorable friends" who submit the best Keurig-smashing videos, ensuring that the "we're-defending-an-accused-pervert-by-destroying-our-own-property" crowd remains enraged.
And in Alabama, a JMC Analytics poll conducted after the allegations against Moore were reported found that 37 percent of evangelicals in the state are now more likely to vote for the former judge.
So nearly 40 percent of these faithful evangelical Alabamans look at reports about four women claiming Moore pursued relationships with them when they were teenagers and see a net positive in his favor.