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How Will You Mark the 400th Anniversary of Thanksgiving?

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Tyrades! by Danny Tyree

Last year the media went into a frenzy over the 400th anniversary of the Mayflower’s arrival in North America, but the festivities were just beginning.

This Thanksgiving marks four centuries since the 1621 harvest festival held by the half of the Plymouth Colony that survived that cruel first winter.

(“Forget corn mazes and hayrides! I’m bobbing for antibiotics!”)

What a milestone! Even though our gaiety may be muted by acknowledgment of the injustices done to indigenous peoples since that fateful shared meal, this still calls for a large-scale commemoration.

Perhaps you could ponder the 400 greatest Thanksgiving-related quotations, such as “Pumpkin spice isn’t everything; it’s the only thing” or “God must have loved the common man, because he made so many ways to re-gift fruitcake” or “Genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent telling your mother-in-law that your daughter’s sleazy new beau loves anecdotes about bunions and varicose veins.”

 

Maybe you could reminisce over the 400 greatest Thanksgiving-related song lyrics, such as “Stairway to the upstairs bedroom where the dog has shed on everyone’s coats,” “You can’t always baste what you want,” “Smells like leftovers spirit,” “I still haven’t found the interstate exit I’m looking for,” and “People get ready, there’s a nap a-comin’.”

Maybe you could explore the 400 biggest historical inaccuracies in Thanksgiving pageants. The Pilgrims’ menu and the attire of the Native American guests leap to mind immediately, but I’m sure you can find other examples. (You doubtless always harbored suspicions about Great-uncle Bob’s insistence on using blackface to portray the Wampanoag Nation. And his compliments to the cooks, such as “The cranberry sauce was delectable, and the white meat is superior.”)

How about taking a stab at writing down your 400 favorite Thanksgiving memories? Maybe your fondest recollection is of eating with your cousins at the children’s table and boasting about the time when you would be all grown up and could do whatever you wanted -- pending the approval of your future spouse, your employer, an assortment of restraining orders and the doctor who is strangely fixated on head-turning and coughing.

Most importantly, try verbalizing 400 things for which you’re thankful. (I’m preparing to launch a year-round thankfulness spot on my Facebook page, “Tyree’s Tyrades.” Please check it out.)

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Copyright 2021 Danny Tyree, All Rights Reserved. Credit: Cagle.com

 

 

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