The ‘Rural Purge’ of 1971

Danny Tyree on Sep 8, 2021

True, over the years they have occasionally tossed the hicks in “flyover country” a bone (“Dukes of Hazzard,” “Sheriff Lobo,” “Lonesome Dove,” etc.). But they’ve never really apologized for five decades of forgettable “sophisticated” shows that fizzled with critics and Nielsen ratings families alike.

Sure, I have enjoyed my share of risqué programs in recent years; but I still yearn for the corny values of TV seasons past, such as Red Skelton ending his show with “Good night and may God bless.” The snooty network execs who cringed at the Clampetts taking a dip in the “ce-ment pond” have no qualms about doing the backstroke in a cesspool.

Granted, the last half-century has produced an embarrassment of riches with upscale sitcoms and dramas; but I can’t help but think that a little dash of the bucolic life would make them even better.

All those police forensics shows could be trimmed to the length of TikTok videos if Opie Taylor would confess to having accidentally killed the victim with his slingshot.

Emmett’s Fix-It Shop could have had that “Lost” plane going in mere weeks.

Ever imagine Hooterville’s Mr. Haney peddling genuine imitation transplant organs on “Grey’s Anatomy”?

Oh, and what about Grandpa Jones turning the tables and asking, “Hey, Soup Nazi – what’s for supper?”

The possibilities are endless – if you don’t look down on half your audience.

Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”