Do Morning People Deserve to Live?

Danny Tyree on Aug 4, 2021

If you regularly get up before the rest of your family, you carry the heavy burden of not slamming or clattering anything that will interrupt the others’ well-deserved slumber. I’m still skeptical of charges that my shoelaces replicate the sound of Thor’s enchanted hammer Mjolnir.

Being considerate can be a downer, especially when you speculate that the world’s night owls have been playing Naughty Librarian while you’re stuck with a game of “Tiptoe, tiptoe, quiet as a mouse.”

If you get up at least two hours before the rest of the household, that first hour seems like you have all the “me time” in the world. But when the next hour arrives, it’s like breaking a $100 bill. (Elon Musk: “What is this $100 bill of which he speaks? Must investigate this after building a new spaceship because the ashtrays in the old one are full.”)

Be true to your internal clock, however it’s set.

As for me, I like to feel the dew, welcome wide-open possibilities and declare, “This is the day the LORD has made. I will rejoice in it.”

Conversely, when night owls finally face the world, they tend to moan, “Holy cow! Is this what has already happened while I slept??? Hmph! Congress: we screw up more before 9 a.m. than Mother Nature does in an Ice Age.”

Danny Tyree welcomes email responses at tyreetyrades@aol.com and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.”