How About Celebrating History’s Unsung Mothers?
John James Audubon’s mother, who sighed, “This rebellious phase will end. Little Johnny will lose interest in the WILD LIFE.”
Louis Armstrong’s mother, who declared, “The saints may go marching in, but I’ll bet they have sense enough to leave their muddy shoes on the front porch.”
Dr. Seuss’s mother, who taunted him, “Oh, the places you won’t go - once I babyproof the house.”
Vladimir Putin’s mother, who gasped, “I just felt the baby kick - and flex his bare chest muscles.”
Alexander the Great’s mother, who growled, “No more worlds left to conquer? Well, there’s plenty of real estate behind your ears, young man! Get a wash rag!”
Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s mother, who opined, “’I see one-third of a nation ill-housed, ill-clad, ill-nourished…’ packs more gravitas than ‘I see London, I see France…’”
Christopher Columbus’s mother, who sighed, “Very good, son! You DISCOVERED where we hid your Christmas gifts in the closet. I just wish you had done it without giving us smallpox and measles in the process.”
Johann Gutenberg’s mother, who questioned, “And just how do you plan to get out of learning to write cursive?”
Ferdinand Magellan’s mother, who fumed, “Stop stalling. You don’t have to go all the way around the world just to answer a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question.”
Orville and Wilbur Wright’s mother, who mused, “Keep on tinkering with your bike shop, but I wish you could invent some way to unload all those crates of peanut packets your father got stuck with.”
Confucius’s mother, who warned, “When I want YOUR advice, young man, I’ll… go to a Chinese restaurant.”
Dr. Anthony Fauci’s mother, who fussed, “No, no, at this part of the game of peek-a-boo, you’re supposed to uncover your face!”
Whether possessing the hand that rocks the cradle brings you fame and fortune or not, Happy Mother’s Day to all.
Copyright 2021 Danny Tyree. Danny welcomes email responses at email@example.com and visits to his Facebook fan page “Tyree’s Tyrades.” Danny’s weekly column is distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons Inc. newspaper syndicate.Copyright 2021 Danny Tyree, All Rights Reserved. Credit: Cagle.com