From the Right



Unmoored amid the coronavirus

By John Kass, Tribune Content Agency on

During this coronavirus shutdown, as so many of us have become unmoored, finding it difficult to process all the changes we're facing, I wondered:

What's the safe way during the pandemic to tell the neighbors you're moving after 25 years in your home?

You can't hug them. Email is so infuriatingly sterile. Handwritten notes on fine stationery would be nice, but doesn't coronavirus linger on surfaces? And bleach wipes would ruin the penmanship.

You could put out black flags. But I didn't have any just then. And besides, black flags may have led some into thinking we had the medieval plague. No need to stoke more panic when politicians and media types are doing such a fine job of it. So, I did something else:

I dragged two old black Weber Smokey Mountain Cookers that we weren't taking with us out to the curb. And my old black kettle grill.

These were the wretched black flags of our intent, made of barbecue equipment.


"You're moving?" said Melissa. "Oh, we already knew that, when you sodded over your garden and wrote about packing away all your books."

Then she told us she was going to Spain, since she had tickets and her daughter was there.

You're going during coronavirus? Are you crazy?

"You get it here or you get it there," she said rather perkily.


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