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Fear of Bernie has pushed Democratic bosses over the edge

By John Kass, Tribune Content Agency on

Bernie Sanders' victory in New Hampshire has driven the Democratic Party establishment into mass hysterics.

Now they rush to embrace multibillionaire Mike Bloomberg, the former Republican mayor of New York City, to save them from President Donald Trump.

Bloomberg is buying this thing.

They're afraid of young people voting. But if they want a "moderate," they've got Sen. Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota, who came in third in New Hampshire, beating former can't-miss candidates Sen. Elizabeth "Pow Wow Chow" Warren and former Vice President Joe "Dead Man Walking to South Carolina" Biden.

"Lying dog-faced pony soldier!" shouts Joe "Dead Man Walking." "No malarkey!"

This has been too much for him.

 

Mayor Pete came in second to Sanders. He's calm and says nothing, with elegance. But he might be too calm, bordering on the Manchurian. He never sweats. Don't other Mayor Pete models come from the factory with lifelike pores?

"Hello, America! I'm Amy Klobuchar and I will beat Donald Trump," Klobuchar told a crowd of her cheering supporters in New Hampshire. "My heart is full tonight. ... We have beaten the odds every step of the way."

Yes, Amy, you did.

If Bloomberg really wants to get rid of Trump, Mike should just climb down off that little box of his and give $300 million or so to Klobuchar.

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