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The End of the World Party

Marc Munroe Dion on

Here's how I explain global warming.

If you don't believe that pumping millions of tons of chemicals and smoke and garbage into the air, the earth and the sea has any effect on the world, think about your trash.

Let's say you decide to quit putting your garbage in plastic bags, putting the bags in a plastic bin and then wheeling the bin out to the curb on trash day.

Instead, you decide to just throw your garbage out one of the first-floor windows of your house. After all, it's your house and your yard. Besides, you've got a half-acre lot, and it's just you, your wife and two kids.

So, that's what you do. All the garbage goes out the window. Soda bottles. Beer bottles. Whatever you scoop out of the cat's litter box. Dirty diapers. Half a lasagna that didn't turn out so well. Products your wife uses that she never mentions. Banana peels. Watermelon rind. Cardboard, paper and plastic.

You'll be all right for a couple days. No doubt. Two weeks, and the smell gets powerful, and the rats come.

 

How about if you do it for a year? Five years? Ten?

How long before the house is unlivable?

I'd say a year because I'm feeling generous, and I hate rats.

Well. Humans have been throwing their garbage out the window since we evolved into creatures that could create any more pollution than our dung and, eventually, our bones.

...continued

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