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How Your Boss Will Save Your Life

Marc Munroe Dion on

I've been through this before.

Here's how it's gonna go.

When I first started working in newsrooms 40 years ago, not only could you smoke, you could put 'em out on the floor. One of the editors, a fellow in his 40s, smoked a pack of nonfilters every shift.

I moved on, and my next newspaper employer said you could only smoke in the lunchroom and only on your breaks. I wasn't sure I could write without smoking, but I could. I needed the job.

Then, the decree went forth that you could only smoke outside, and not within 10 feet of the front door. Finally, the company told us we had to smoke "off the property," and so our ever-decreasing band of smokers gathered on the sidewalk.

Someone fairly high up the corporate chain told me the company wanted to discourage smoking because smokers took more sick days than nonsmokers.

 

And that's why you'll get vaccinated.

You may mistrust your government, and you may disobey it every chance you get, but your employer will choke you into compliance, day by day, hour by hour, email by email, meeting by meeting.

It's already starting. United Airlines noted that about one employee a week was dying of COVID-19. They mandated masks, not because they wanted to cuddle with their employees, but because it's expensive to keep hiring and training new people. Death, it seems, is bad for business.

You, my rebellious, flag-waving friend, are not a walking copy of the Constitution. What you are is a productivity statistic, and you will be made to perform.

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