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Vice Plaza

Marc Munroe Dion on

Just about three minutes from the radio station where I do a talk show, there is a store that, until fairly recently, sold Trump-related supplies. The place sold hats, ties, banners, T-shirts, sweatshirts, flags and presumably thong underwear bearing the picture, slogans and word pieces of former Pres. Donald J. Trump. The store thrived for a while and, in faraway China, enslaved workers were instructed to "Get busy on another load of the Trump stuff."

There's a banner out in front of the place announcing a final sale, which is rather like the going-out-of-business sales conducted by Confederate flag stores in 1866.

The guy who owned the store owned several, and he's closing them one by one. He will be spending next winter in Aruba. The Chinese factory owner is driving a Mercedes. The customers who bought the stuff are out $116.37 for the Trump-centered items they bought, not when Trump fever was high, but in the last waning months of Trump's presidency, when the guy with the buffalo horn hat was getting ready to break into the United States Capitol with a mob of patriots who wanted to break stuff and pee on the floor.

Glory! Glory! Hallelujah! Are we out of vodka again?

In its glory days, the store was the scene of Trump rallies. Protesters carried flags of several nations, including America, yelled stuff at passing cars, and received obscene gestures from normally peaceful retired English teachers driving to the drug store. In between, they glared menacingly at maybe seven under-30s some of whom wore purple nail polish (including some of the boys). The store and the events were in a nearby suburb. No one, no matter how many guns they own, wanted to hold those rallies in the nearby city where I live. If they had, then some of those boys in camouflage britches might have been badly hurt.

But it was a suburb, so the entire police force turned out for the overtime, and the folks playing revolutionary got to imagine total victory and the seven counterprotesters all went home and felt virtuous.

I'll miss what locals called "The Trump Store," if only because my sense of humor is not pleasant, but I think the guy who is closing the place has mighty little imagination.

I believe he could stay in business if he'd just shift his focus a little bit. Trump is gone, but the hate lives on.

 

Consider the people who make porn movies. If a new Hollywood movie comes out, these guys rush into the battle. If the movie is "Star Wars," the porn folks produce a movie called "Star Sluts" and then let the internet-streaming commence.

The guy who owns the Trump store needs to dial back on the Trump stuff and get some anti-Semitism Nazi regalia in there, and T-shirts featuring the image of Jesus Christ mowing down Black Lives Matter protesters with an automatic rifle. He needs a flag featuring Nancy Pelosi's picture and the words. "I didn't Fight for my Country so She Could Sell it to China." Hunter Biden pillowcases. Shooting range targets that look like any woman holding public office.

The guy who makes porn doesn't go out of business just because men are wearing their hair short again. Hell no! He just tells the actor playing Big Mike the Pizza Delivery Guy to get a close trim. The porn guy knows that he isn't in the movie business; he's in the lust business, and lust is eternal. The guy running the Trump store should realize that Trump isn't his business. Hate is business, and you don't go broke selling hate.

Get some anti-COVID vaccine T-shirts in there, and you'll have anti-vax rallies out front. They will be just like the Trump rallies, and will be attended by pretty much the same people, and opposed by the same seven young people wearing purple nail polish. And the cops can use their rally overtime to pay off their credit cards, and it will be my America again.

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To find out more about Marc Monroe Dion, and read features by other Creatures Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit www.creators.com. Dion's latest book, a collection of his best columns, is called "Devil's Elbow: Dancing in the Ashes of America." It is available in paperback from Amazon.com, and for Nook, Kindle, GooglePlay and iBooks.

 

 

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