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Jesus and Buddha walking down the street

Marc Munroe Dion on

As near as I can understand Alabama's abortion law, it arises from two things:

1. It's in the Bible.

2. The school system in Alabama stinks.

Still, it's an interesting idea, praise Jayzus!

If it has a heartbeat, you can't kill it.

That's a pretty good idea of law, and there is precedent. If I stab my neighbor Frank, I will be jailed/executed because Frank has a heartbeat. If I stab a tree, I will not be jailed/executed, because the tree does not have a heartbeat.

 

I understand this, and good thing for Frank, who mows his lawn at 7:30 a.m. on Sunday when I'm trying to sleep.

My wife, whose heart for animals is the size of a fully inflated basketball, suggests that killing unwanted dogs and cats is wrong because they are living things, have heartbeats and are only where they are because of "stupid people."

Still, they're "just animals," unlike the unborn children of Alabama.

Even if that is true, if I were PETA or any organization of vegans, I'd jump all over this new law. Want to eat a pork chop? You can't because pigs have heartbeats.

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