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The guy's guide to sexual harassment

Marc Munroe Dion on

"You're killing me in those work boots," he growls, kissing your neck.

One more.

Tom calls you into his office to talk about the new computer system, and how it will do a much better job of tracking inventory and sales. Once you're in his office, he locks the door and shoves his hand down your pants.

You complain to Tom's boss, Craig.

"C'mon," Craig says. "You're not wearing an undershirt, are you? I can see your Marine Corps tattoo right through your dress shirt. How much can a guy take?"

Now, if you're a guy's guy, a bro, one of the boys at the bar, you are not going to react well to any of those situations, are you?

So, from now on, whenever you are tempted to initiate some sexual hoo-ha with a woman, ask yourself, "Would I be cool if Mikey the janitor did this to me?"

More than likely, you will find that you do not want Mikey the janitor calling you "sweet thang."

 

Keep this handy little set of exercises in mind, and you'll be fine, bro.

And it's not like I don't know how crazy some of these women can make you. I used to work with this hot little blonde. She was driving me crazy. I mean, I couldn't keep my eyes off her. She knew it, too, if you know what mean.

You know what I did?

I married her.

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To find out more about Marc Munroe Dion, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers, visit www.creators.com. Dion's latest book, "The Land of Trumpin," is a collection of his columns from during before, and after the most recent presidential election, when groping women had just started to become acceptable again. The book is available in paperback from Amazon, and for Kindle, iBooks, Nook and GooglePlay.

 

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