Rupert Murdoch is Launching Fox Weather. We Can Only Imagine…

“Which also may account for the sustained high winds that are expected in other blue states, where some say that the wind turbines will kill tens of millions of birds.”

“Right you are, Sabrina. Seems like what this country needs this weekend is a massive tax cut.”

(Mutual laughter). “Right back to ya, Tucker. But just to be fair and balanced, it does look like some southern areas of Real America will be hit this weekend with record flooding and endless rain, so it might be advisable for those patriots to get out the ole umbrella and go live for awhile in a rescue shelter where unvaccinated people aren’t persecuted.”

“Any remote chance that the flooding could spread into ungovernable Democrat strongholds?”

“Not at this time, Tucker, but if I take my Sharpie pen…there…fixed it!”

“Thank you Sabrina. Is there any confirmable good news out there?”

“Well, it does look like Miami is under water, and we all know how Miami-Dade County voted.”

“I’m sure the alarmists will have a different theory. By the way, have you finished tabulating the 10-day American Greatness Forecast?”

“We have indeed, Tucker. But we don’t like the downbeat results – too much ‘extreme’ weather in too many places – so we’re going to send the data out to Arizona for an audit.”

“Right you are, Sabrina, you never know what Hugo Chavez may be up to. Stay tuned, we’ll be back in a minute after this message from Beautiful Clean Coal.”

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Dick Polman, a veteran national political columnist based in Philadelphia and a Writer in Residence at the University of Pennsylvania, writes at DickPolman.net. Email him at dickpolman7@gmail.com. Copyright 2021 Dick Polman, distributed exclusively by Cagle Cartoons newspaper syndicate.