It is time to deport Baltimore
Baltimore's blue crab is the world's finest and its aquarium world-famous; Trump's top seafood dish is McDonald's Filet-o-Fish.
Baltimore occupies a key place in African American history, with ties to Thurgood Marshall, W.E.B. Du Bois and Frederick Douglass; Trump says Douglass is "an example of somebody's who's done an amazing job and is being recognized more and more."
Baltimore's Little Italy produced Mayor Thomas D'Alesandro Jr. and his daughter, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi; Trump eats pizza with a fork.
The Baltimore Orioles were one of the charter franchises of the American League, and Camden Yards the inspiration for the modern ballpark; Trump promised to start a baseball league and failed to deliver.
Baltimore's Cal Ripken Jr. is called the Iron Man for his record-setting endurance; Trump took a golf cart while other world leaders walked during a Group of Seven summit in Sicily.
Baltimore Colts (and later, Ravens) fans have been unfailingly loyal through good times and bad; Trump paid hush money to Stormy Daniels.
Billie Holiday grew up in Baltimore; Jennifer Holliday pulled out of a performance at Trump's inauguration.
Baltimore's Johns Hopkins is one of the world's top medical institutions; Trump says windmills cause cancer.
To be fair, there are a few areas in which Baltimore and Trump have some common ground: Baltimore, in the early 19th century, was the first American city to embrace gas lighting; Trump, in the early 21st century, embraces gaslighting. Baltimore inspired "Hairspray" and "The Wire"; Trump gave us "The Apprentice." Baltimore, in Trump's telling, is a "rat and rodent infested mess"; Trump's Mar-a-Lago was cited for 78 health-code violations over three years.
But these are the exceptions.