It's treason not to applaud Trump. Join AmeriClaps and avoid execution.
Hatch-Level Applauders must commit to 52 hours a year of applause -- one hour per week -- and praise in the fawning-to-sycophantic range of the sort given by Sen. Orrin G. Hatch, who told Trump: "We're going to make this the greatest presidency that we've seen, not only in generations, but maybe ever." Trump last week said he followed up with Hatch: "He actually once said I'm the greatest president in the history of our country. I said, 'Does that include Lincoln and Washington?' He said yes."
Only the most devoted AmeriClaps volunteer will be able to sustain this commitment: a pledge to applaud Trump an hour every day while also praising Trump once every 12.5 seconds, as Vice President Pence did at a recent Cabinet meeting. Examples include: "It is just the greatest privilege of my life"; "You've restored American credibility"; "You've unleashed American energy"; "I'm deeply humbled."
I personally can commit right now to Putin-Level service and would consider Congressional Level. Democratic leaders should consider a Hatch-Level or even a Cabinet-Level contribution; you have nothing to lose but the skin on your hands.
Perhaps a brave few AmeriClappers will even attempt Pence Level -- though I suspect that, given the choice, most would take the electric chair.
Follow Dana Milbank on Twitter, @Milbank.
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