Inside the secret, sinister and very illegal cabal trying to destroy Trump
20th January, anno Domini 2017
Society for Harassing and Impeaching Trump with Hearsay, Outrageous Lies and Extralegal Schemes
Recording Secretary: Maddow, R.
The meeting was called to order at noon. Society officers greeted each other with the secret fist bump, recited the secret Pledge of Allegiance to Saul Alinsky, and then knelt for the national anthem, sung by an illegal immigrant.
In attendance: Podesta, J., worshipful master; Comey, J., senior warden; Mueller, R., junior warden; Rosenstein, R., inner guard; McCabe, A., pursuivant; Strzok, P., steward; Page, L., almoner; Clapper, J., grand sword-bearer; Yates, S., grand registrar; Soros, G., treasurer. Absent: Clinton, H., grand standard-bearer.
Members voted to accept as submitted the minutes of the November 2016 meeting, titled "How Our Gal Lost," and of the December 2016 meeting, titled "Witch Hunt: Is Our Phony Dossier Working?"
The steering committee presented its Inauguration Day recommendations in a report titled "Underhanded and Conspiratorial Things We Can Do to Make Trump Look Bad."
The society would use its contacts to convince Trump that he was the victim of massive voter fraud and that Obama personally ran a wiretap on him. This would make Trump sound paranoid.
The society would use its influence to convince Trump that Frederick Douglass is still alive and that Andrew Jackson was involved in the Civil War. This would make Trump sound dumb.
The society would hack Trump's Twitter account so that it appeared he was calling the North Korean leader "fat" and a "Rocket Man" with a small "button." This would make Trump sound dangerous.