Inside the secret, sinister and very illegal cabal trying to destroy Trump
WASHINGTON -- It began, as these things generally do, with Rep. Trey Gowdy, R-Benghazi.
The voluble congressman, who speaks as if he is arguing the trial of the century even if he is ordering breakfast, went on Fox News on Tuesday to divulge a secret.
"There's a text exchange between these two FBI agents" -- Peter Strzok and Lisa Page, who had originally been on Robert Mueller's Russia probe -- "saying that perhaps this is the first meeting of the 'secret society,'" Gowdy announced. "I'm going to want to know what secret society are you talking about."
A secret society! The Illuminati? The Carbonari? Or perhaps the dreaded Rigatoni? Or, um, maybe, given that Strzok and Page were lovers, their text was actually a joke or a flirtation.
Gowdy's sidekick, Rep. John Ratcliffe, R-Texas, allowed that "there may have been a secret society," but "I'm not saying that actually happened."
He did not need to. Sen. Ron Johnson did. "I have heard from somebody who has talked to our committee that there is a group of individuals in the FBI who were holding secret, off-site meetings," the Wisconsin Republican told Fox News on Wednesday. (Maybe that person was Gowdy?)
Fox had a news alert: "Texts Indicate Secret Society to Resist Trump." Sean Hannity tweeted: "FBI CONSPIRACY? Text Messages Show Anti-Trump 'SECRET SOCIETY' at DOJ."
Rush Limbaugh said he was "not surprised there's a secret society" going after President Trump, and he alleged that a secret society also cooked up fake intelligence to goad George W. Bush into a dumb war. "What if the intel on the war in Iraq was another disinformation campaign to damage another Republican president?" Limbaugh asked.
Exactly! And what if Ted Cruz's dad, after killing President Kennedy, forged Barack Obama's birth certificate?
But we do not have to speculate about this secret society, for I have obtained, at great personal risk, the following leaked minutes from the society's meeting on Inauguration Day last year: