Seems like everyone's colluding with Russia now
-- All persons who now consume or in the past have consumed vodka. This includes but is not limited to Black Russians, White Russians and Moscow Mules.
-- All persons who now consume or in the past have consumed beluga or osetra caviar.
-- All persons who now play, or previously have played, with nesting dolls.
-- All persons who watch or have watched the FX drama "The Americans."
-- All persons who have viewed "The Nutcracker" (including children's performances) or "Swan Lake," or hummed the "1812 Overture."
-- All persons who have dined at the Russian Tea Room in New York.
-- All persons who have read, or have caused to be read, "Anna Karenina," "War and Peace," "Crime and Punishment," "The Brothers Karamazov" or any play by Anton Chekhov.
-- All persons who have heard, or have caused to be heard, the work of Rachmaninoff, Shostakovich, Stravinsky or Mussorgsky.
-- All persons who have played against, or watched a match involving, Anna Kournikova, Maria Sharapova or Garry Kasparov.
-- All persons who have experienced the work of Wassily Kandinsky, Groucho Marx or John Lennon.