Verbal Villains Vex Blooper Patrol

Rob Kyff on

In these 12 sentences snared by the Word Guy Blooper Patrol, the word choice "dozen" make sense. Can you spot the blots?

No. 1: "(The plan) is intended to give piece of mind to law enforcement officers and the public." (submitted by Ron Peterson of New Britain, Connecticut) Give "peace" a chance.

No. 2: "The Church of England holds that clergy are servants of God rather than employees, and recent rulings have upheld that tenant." (Tom Slattery, Sioux Falls, South Dakota) Does that make God a land Lord?

No. 3: "Sick cats (at a newly remodeled veterinarian's office) will no longer have to hear the plaintiff cries of those getting a bath in the next room." (Jim Luff, Vallejo, California) Unless those foamy felines sue for malpractice.

No. 4: "(The couple) was untied in marriage on Saturday, October 4." (Dale Lau, Trenton, New Jersey) Shortly after they had tied the knot?

No. 5: "The mechanic was accused of diagnosing problems in cars that didn't exist." (Kitty Vangunten, Simsbury, Connecticut) Ma'am, your fan-tasy belt needs adjustment.

No. 6: "(An opponent's criticism was) a tinkling symbol." (Marjorie Allen, Farmington, Michigan) Like Brussels' Manneken Pis statue?

No. 7: "'It was a wreckless act,' O'Brien said." (Barbara Turner, Orchard Lake, Michigan) Thank goodness.

No. 8: "(While traveling) we shared a Catholic hostile with some priests, nuns and other travelers." (Russ Graham, Beresford, South Dakota) And angrily debated theology all night.


No. 9: "We've hit the mother load." (Ed Fischer, Hartford, Connecticut) A shipment of Mother's Day cards?

No. 10: "The teens face charges of fleeing and alluding." (Roland Anderson, Battle Creek, Michigan) As they ran, they shouted, "This is just like Bonnie and Clyde!"

No. 11: (from a headline above a community calendar): "Events Worth Nothing" (Dave Gilbert, Manchester, Connecticut) Did they offer free admission?

No. 12: (from what was supposed to be a teaser blurb on the first page of a newspaper section): "One sentence of prompt text goes here and here and right here and here and here and right here and here." (Chris Ryan, New York City) Written by Kilroy?


No 1: peace of mind; No. 2: tenet; No. 3: plaintive cries; No. 4: united in marriage; No. 5: of diagnosing car problems that didn't exist; No. 6: tinkling cymbal; No. 7: reckless act; No. 8: Catholic hostel; No. 9: mother lode; No. 10: fleeing and eluding; No. 11: Worth Noting; No. 12: Hapless copyeditor apparently inserted nonsense text to hold space but then forgot to replace it.


Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Connecticut, invites your language sightings. His new book, "Mark My Words," is available for $9.99 on Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via email to or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, California, 90254.

Copyright 2022 Creators Syndicate Inc.



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