Taking the Kids: On the college tour circuit
The campus tour hadn't even started when my daughter gave the university a thumbs-down.
"Too flat," my mountain-loving girl declared as we trekked across the campus on a crisp fall day. This was the Midwest, after all, I reminded her. And we had flown halfway around the country to visit. "Sorry," she said. "Besides, everyone seems too intense."
We left before the tour began; there was no reason to prolong the agony. I don't know which was worse -- that trip or the one where we'd driven five hours to an Upstate New York campus and my son refused to get out of the car. He was determined to go to school in California -- which he ultimately did -- and wouldn't be dissuaded. Then there was the time one of my daughters burst into tears in a campus parking lot. The tour guide had been particularly pompous. "I'll never fit in here, or anywhere," she wailed.
To all parents heading out on the Great College Tour this fall, I wish you luck. You are going to need it. Maybe a cocktail or two at the end of the day will help, and so will keeping your sense of humor. Remember, don't ask questions on the tour. No matter how benign, your child will be embarrassed. (I learned that the hard way, too.)
Having survived multiple tours with three kids -- now all happily employed college graduates -- here are some tips that will help:
-- Leave the younger siblings behind. They will get bored anyway.
-- Don't cram too many campuses in one trip. They will all start to meld together.
-- Visit when school is in session. Check beforehand to make sure there isn't a fall break. Encourage your student to reach out if she knows anyone attending that school. Have a meal in the student union; take in a game, whether football, soccer or a swim meet, depending on your student's interest.
-- Insist he keep some notes on his phone, tablet or laptop after each visit -- what he liked and what he didn't; prepare follow-up question to ask the admissions office.
Especially in small college towns, consider a local bed and breakfast or inn where the inn keepers can give you a local perspective. (If your child has an older friend on campus, perhaps she could bunk with them.)
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