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Tales from the ArcaMax Chef


My neighbor came back with the tool kit and began working on the boat motor. I am sure glad he was with me because I couldn’t tell the fuel injectors from any other parts that were crammed into the motor under the engine cover. It looked very complicated and detailed. He said he had worked on his boat so often that he knew boat motors backward. He said he spent more time working on the boat than taking it out for a ride…not what I wanted to hear as a new boat owner.

We worked on it for about an hour. He would adjust the injectors, we would put the cover back on and I would try to start it. It would always start with the choke on but then would die when I let off the choke. My neighbor finally adjusted the injectors so the motor would run with the choke off but the motor sounded really funny.

We cast off the lines and set off from the dock. The motor ran well enough to move the boat but not enough for the boat to plane up. With the weight of two men in the back and not enough power to plane, we puttered along with the bow about two feet up from the water.

Just then, one of my neighbors, who is a boating fanatic, came flying up in a new boat he had just bought. It was beautiful and much more of a boat than my little skiff. He pulled up and I commented on his boat. He said he bought it used for $5,000.00 and he loved it.

I was sick…here I was in my free boat that I paid $4,000.00 to fix up sputtering along with the bow in the air. For a thousand dollars more, I could have bought his boat and really been cruising.


Just then the motor started making strange noises and cut off. I tried to start it many, many times but it would not run at all. My neighbor in his new/used boat threw us a line and towed us back to the dock.

Not exactly the maiden voyage I had in mind…

God Bless America.





Phil Hands Bizarro Mike Shelton Brian Duffy Nest Heads Bob Englehart