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Sister-in-law prioritizes dog ownership over visits from her nephew

Carolyn Hax on

Meanwhile, why are you holding your sister-in-law to a higher standard than you do Brian's own father? She can't get a dog, but he can check out because he's "not into" the same things your son is?

Your son needs all the healthy family connections he can get, so please challenge any emotional impulses you have that would strain those connections.

Start by respecting that their home (equal sign) their choices. The consequences do affect your son, but that just means you need productive alternatives: discuss allergy shots with Brian's doctor; ask your brother if they'd consider a more allergy-friendly breed; encourage sporting events by paying for them. Or you take both boys yourself. Or ask your ex to, because, again -- who blows off one's own child because of different interests? Sheesh.

And: archive "sleepovers at his uncle's house" as great while they lasted. Change is a constant, so any number of other things could have ended them -- most of which you probably would have accepted, if sadly. Don't choose a grudge now just because you think dogs aren't a good enough reason. Having an opinion is not the same as having a say.

Re: Dog:

When you find yourself impatiently waiting for someone to clean their house after their dog died so you can send your kid over, it's time for a change of perspective.

 

-- Anonymous

Amen.

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