Auto review: Mercedes GLC Coupe is easy on the eyes -- and my back

CHARLEVOIX, Michigan— I love the lines of the Mercedes CLE coupe. Low-slung body, long snout, fast back. But my back liked the Mercedes GLC Coupe SUV better.

Argh. I managed to torque a disc in my lower back on the tennis court this summer and, all of a sudden, the idea of folding my 6’5” frame into low-slung, long-snout, fast-back coupe seemed less appealing.

This, of course, is the fundamental appeal of SUVs — with five-inch higher hip points than their car stablemates, they are easier to slip into. Add their command position seating position for better road visibility, and SUVs have come to dominate the auto market over the last two decades.

But (groan), Payne, they all look so boxy!

Enter SUV Coupe models like the BMW X4, Audi Q5 Sportback and Mercedes GLC. Like its German peers, the 2024 GLC Coupe takes the boxier GLC to the plastic surgeon and gives it the ol’ nip/tuck — flattening out the roof to look more like the CLE. Except, um, the GLC Coupe is jacked up off the ground.

No bother, it’s still more attractive to the naked eyeball — while still accommodating my (creeeeak) back. Rather than bending uncomfortably low into the seat, I simply slid sideways into the GLC Coupe cockpit and ... BONK!

Well, not so simply. That raked roofline means I still had to duck my fat noggin under the tight cockpit opening. Happily, seat memory controls are on the door, so I could adjust the seat rearward if, say, wee Mrs. Payne had been driving the Merc before me.

The GLC Coupe is one of a blizzard of Mercedes SUVs and sedans that make the German brand so hard to compete against in the marketplace. While U.S. brands like Cadillac and Lincoln have reduced their model choices to accommodate all-SUV lineups, Merc and BMW still produce gorgeous sedans and coupes as their portfolio halos — even if their sales have declined compared to the more utilitarian utes.

That translates, not into just more customer choice overall, but into more choice for SUV models as designers adopt coupe styling cues. Seen a Cadillac XT4 Coupe? Nope. My GLC Coupe tester featured the expected attractive grille and headlight/taillight display found on other Mercs. The brand’s signature star may anchor the front end, but the ducktail and rear horizontal taillights are this model’s best angle. Toggle the rear logo (just like a VW GTI), and the hatchback rises to offer more utility than you’ll ever find in a CLE.

Slip inside (watch your head) and the style gets turned up to 11.

Mercedes has embraced the big screen era — not with Silicon Valley, Tesla-like simplification — but with Hollywood excess. The lush, graphically-rich hoodless instrument and infotainment displays are complemented with high style. My $67,450 AMG line model wrapped the center console in a tunnel of carbon fiber from which the 12-inch screen rises like an ocean wave — before its topped with rose-shaped air vents. Oooh, it’s a lovely landscape.

But the form requires certain, um, compromise of function.

Maintaining the carbon-fiber tube means that cupholders and a recessed wireless charger are accessed via a sliding door that pinches center console storage room. Buttons to access the 11.9-inch center display? Fugettaboutit.

Back in 2013, Cadillac rolled out the third generation CTS sedan and it was a similar work of art. Putting style on a pedestal, Caddy eschewed knobs for haptic swipe controls. It was lovely, and drove customers like my pal Dicran mad. The current generation GLC (and siblings) are Son of CTS.

Ten years on, electronics are sharper and quicker, no doubt, but swipe controls remain a hit-and-miss distraction. Merc has added a redundant strip of touch controls below the screen, but there are no rotary dials for volume and temperature lest they interfere with the artistic form. Heck, even the panoramic roof was controlled by swiping.

There are redundant steering wheel controls for volume — but Merc has made these swipe controls as well to maintain the smooth, sculpted surface of its twin-spoked wheel. I turned on the radio with a punch of the right steering spoke, then used a slider to adjust the volume. Same for adaptive cruise control.

At speed on I-75 North, I engaged ACC with a pinch of the left steering spoke, then used a slider to adjust the speed in 1-mph increments. It was a hit-or-miss exercise, and will drive some customers screaming from the cockpit.

At this point, I didn’t bother to adjust the temperature. Instead, I tried voice commands:

Hey, Mercedes, adjust the temperature to 70 degrees.

Done. I tried it for radio volume as well.

Hey, Mercedes, turn down the volume.

Success. Alas, ACC is not supported by voice commands.

Owners will figure out the shortcuts that work best for them over time, of course. Then they can enjoy the comfort, style and high tech of the interior, including rear seats that have ample legroom for us tall people. This is what separates luxury today: fine materials, fine details and a fine ACC system that would automatically change lanes when I toggled the turn signal.

Sliding into the Merc on July 4, I punched the starter button, then immediately turned off the annoying STOP-START button next to it. The infotainment screen burst into a fireworks display, wishing me a Happy Independence Day. Ah, luxury.

Though you wouldn’t know it from the drivetrain. In this age of Big Nanny, emissions regulations are forcing brands to the same small-displacement turbo-4 cylinder drivetrains (just wait until nanny requires the same, quiet electric drivetrains).

The Merc’s 2.0-liter four-banger is plenty punchy — aided by a 48-volt battery (which also helps power all those big displays). But its 255 horsepower and 295 pound-feet of torque are no more remarkable than a similarly-sized Mazda CX-5 costing $30K less.

Exiting I-75 for the M-32 two-lane headed to Lake Michigan, I selected SPORT Drive Mode for a little fun through the twisties.

Not too much fun, though. Though the GLC Coupe sports a lovely sportscar roof, it still has a healthy 52.6 cubic feet of cargo room with the seats down (and a spare tire beneath should you get a puncture in the wilds of northern Michigan). I had packed the rear cargo area with luggage, sports equipment and electronics for the July 4 weekend —and I didn’t want to break anything.

Including my back.

2024 Mercedes GLC Coupe

Vehicle type: Front engine, all-wheel-drive five-passenger SUV

Price: $58,150, including $1,150 destination fee ($67,430 4Matic AMG Line as tested)

Powerplant: Turbocharged 2.0-liter, inline-4 cylinder

Power: 255 horsepower, 295 pound-feet of torque

Transmission: Nine-speed automatic

Performance: 0-60 mph, 6.2 seconds (mfr.); top speed, 130 mph

Weight: 4,450 pounds (est.)

Fuel economy: EPA 22 mpg city/30 highway/26 combined (as tested)

Report card

Highs: Big, family-size proportions; loaded with value, standard goodies

Lows: Quirky shifter, rotary controller

Overall: 4 stars

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