Dear Doug: Truth Is Mandatory
Q: A couple of years ago, I met a widowed lady. She has become a good friend, but no romantically speaking. I believe she is afraid to make another commitment, as she and her husband had their problems but chose not to divorce because of breaking up their family.
We enjoy each other's company on a regular basis and thus far have not had any arguments. We both have mutual friends who wonder why we are not a couple. She is a caring, loving lady who always maintains a positive attitude.
My hesitation is that I have a major heart problem, and my doctor says it means that I may only have a couple of years ahead. I have not disclosed this possibility to her and am afraid she will look elsewhere for a husband.
I would like to marry her, but I do not want to complicate things and jeopardize the possibility of her finding a healthy husband. What would you recommend I do?
A: Honesty and trust are the keys to successful relationships. Until you disclose your health issue, you do not know what her response will be.
She may not consider it an issue; she may love you and want to be with you as long as possible.
Sharing this information and being truthful is only fair and reasonable, and it offers her the opportunity to make her own decision. If she declines, you're giving her a chance to look forward to other options and opportunities. -- Doug
Q: I'm getting older, and I know that I don't have that many years ahead. However, life goes on around me. Recently, I've had a couple of big-ticket purchases to decide on, like my car and home repair, and I am not sure how I should adjust my buying decisions.