There are somewhere around 77 million people in America who always remember who they are. They're Baby Boomers. And over the years they've unashamedly reminded us -- lest you forget -- that they've done it all.
Notice I use the past tense.
The leading edge of this postwar generation used to set the latest trends. Now, it may be setting records for watching ESPN sports and Downton Abbey binging.
Let's face it. We Baby Boomers have nearly ground to a halt.
Gone are the days of fighting "the establishment." Now, we aging Boomers spend our spare time fighting cellulite and nose hairs. It's not a pretty picture, and we're tired of looking at it -- especially in the full-length mirror.
We miss those days of our youth. Days when we could sing the Top 40 lyrics word for word, twist all night with Dick Clark and refuse to trust anyone over 30 who couldn't do the same. Nowadays, we can't trust ourselves to remember where we put our keys, reading glasses or parked car.
You know, it's hard to look cool when you're wandering in a big parking lot and your spouse is shouting that the car has been stolen. (I'm not making this up.) The search is even worse when you're also pushing a huge shopping cart from one end of the asphalt to the other. The only consolation is seeing other wandering Boomers with the same frantic look in their eyes.
It's a bit unfortunate, but age -- and all the trappings of big white tennis shoes and hair to match -- happens to all of us. And Baby Boomers are leading the pack -- again.
This generation that once littered the streets with burning draft cards and smoldering bras now leave Starbucks lattes and handbags strewn along the highways. True to form -- and mine is inexplicably spreading -- we're having trouble remembering where we put things, and not surprisingly it's often on top of the car.