Keep Those Holiday Decorations in the Clubhouse

Q: I am president of the board of directors for a private gated community where a substantial number of Christians and Jews reside. Our clubhouse is decorated each year to celebrate Christmas and Hanukah. However, a few residents feel there should be no decorations so no one will be offended. In the past, we've had a Christmas tree, menorahs, and a creche. How can we satisfy all of our residents? - J., via godsquadquestion@aol.com

A: As the holiday season approaches, your question is a good icebreaker for the flood of questions I always receive each year on the same topic. Let me first answer your specific question. I think you're doing the right thing by decorating your clubhouse with symbols of both Christmas and Hanukah. I'd also encourage you to include Kwanzaa symbols if anyone in your community requests that these be included.

The First Amendment guarantees for freedom of religion include two provisions: the establishment clause and the free exercise clause. The establishment clause prevents the government from establishing a state religion. This has direct impact on the legality of religious displays on public property, which your clubhouse is not (more about this in another column, but I digress).

The second clause provides that the government shall not interfere with the free exercise of religion by any American citizen. So if your residents want these decorations, they should have the right to display them publically. While they don't have the right to display them in the clubhouse, neither are they legally prevented from doing so. Your accommodation of them is reasonable and legal, as well as courteous and respectful of clear First Amendment rights on the free exercise of their religious beliefs.

Those residents offended by any displays of religious symbols are seeking to unfairly limit the rights of their religiously-inclined neighbors. Since your community is on private property, your association has the right to allow such displays in the clubhouse. You could, of course, limit such decorations to the owners' private residences, but in my mind, this would be discriminatory, unfair and lacking in neighborliness. Even if the decorations are offensive to some, they're only seasonal and can be ignored.

Frankly, I'm fed up with people who are instantly offended at the free exercise of religion by others. We're constantly bombarded by the free exercise of immodesty, materialism, rudeness and greed. Why can't we allow a seasonal sprinkling of ho-ho-ho without losing our tempers and pretending as if the essence of our humanity has been attacked by a snowman, seven herbivores and a jolly ol' elf? The holiday spirit is not purely sectarian; it lifts all of our spirits.

Q: My father studied for the priesthood but eventually left the seminary and married. Our parents raised me and my siblings as Roman Catholics. They taught us that the roots of our faith emanated from Judaism. As such, they emphasized that in truly living our faith, it was imperative to respect the beliefs of others.

When I married, we raised our children in a town that was almost 100 percent Christian. When the kids went out on their own, we moved to a community with a large Orthodox Jewish population.

Now for my question/dilemma: Is it appropriate for me to offer greetings of "Good Shabbos" or "L'shana tova" to my neighbors? The gentleman next door is Orthodox. We moved into town on a Friday, and when I introduced myself, I wished our neighbor, "Good Shabbos." He told me he was at first shocked to hear these words coming from me - but was also pleasantly surprised by my greeting.

My wife thought it was inappropriate for me to greet the neighbor this way, as it might be perceived as offensive. While the neighbor took no offense, I wonder if I overstepped any rules of propriety. - P., via godsquadquestion@aol.com

A: You did nothing wrong. Indeed, I'm deeply moved by your sensitivity and your spiritually impressive desire to greet your Jewish neighbor with more than a crudely perfunctory, "Hey, how 'ya doin'? Your greeting doesn't say or even imply that this is your Shabbos (which comes on Sunday) but only a sensitive and informed greeting.

During the holy month of Ramadan, I greet my Muslim friends with, "Ramadan Mubarak" (Blessed Ramadan). After a good wish from them to me, I often reply, "Inshallah" (May it be the will of Allah). They wish me "Good Shabbos," "Good Yontif," "Happy Hanukah" and "Happy Passover." I greet them with "Merry Christmas" and "Happy Easter."

The one greeting I do despise is the pc "Happy Holidays." This is just a copout. Nobody celebrates a holiday called "Holiday." We celebrate particular holidays, and if we know the religion of the person we're greeting, we ought to honor them by trying to convey an appropriately specific blessing.

If I don't know a person's faith during the holiday season, I usually say, "'Happy Hanukah' or 'Merry Christmas' -- whichever one works for you." Or if you think someone is an atheist, you might want to add, "May you be comforted in the cold and unforgiving bleakness of a cosmos with neither meaning, purpose nor hope." Then, if the person is a very large atheist...run away.

(Send QUESTIONS ONLY to The God Squad, c/o Tribune Media Services, 2225 Kenmore Ave., Suite 114, Buffalo, NY 14207, or email them to godsquadquestion@aol.com.