SECOND MARRIAGE COMPLICATES CHURCH STATUS

Q: I always read your column in the Ocala (Fla.) Star Banner and now I have a question. I was married for 22 years to a military man, the father of my four children. After 22 years, we divorced. Four years later, I remarried in a military church ceremony. My husband was Lutheran. We joined the Episcopal Church because my husband wasn't comfortable in the Catholic Church, mostly due to the fact that we couldn't be full members in good standing.

In the meantime, my first husband died. What's my standing now in the Catholic Church? Does the second marriage count, or am I free to take communion now because my first husband is dead? I attend Mass regularly now but have not told anyone there that I've been married twice. -- E., Ocala, FL via godsquadquestion@aol.com

A: My priest advisors inform me that if you received permission to marry outside the Catholic Church before your second wedding, you're in good shape and can take communion. However, if you didn't receive permission, you need to have your second marriage convalidated in the Catholic Church. This wouldn't require a whole new wedding -- just a private ceremony with a priest in your parish. (In my personal opinion, you'll also need to eat some of those little hot dogs with the crust around them for this marriage to be valid.)

Seriously, you need to get straight with the Church before taking communion again. You are unambiguously and totally Catholic, but the issues involving your second marriage can and should be resolved. However, as with all such Catholic questions, I encourage you to consult a priest in your parish. If someone questions you about taking communion, it might be a little awkward for you to say, "Oh, don't worry, Rabbi Gellman said it's OK for me to be here!"

The larger issue you should consider is not your spiritual status in the Catholic Church but your spiritual status in your marriage. You and your husband are on two different Christian paths. He's apparently comfortable in the Episcopal Church and you now attend Mass. You're in different places on Sunday. I pray that somehow you can unite in prayer in a religious community that embraces both of you. You might want to wait to talk to a priest until you've really talked to your husband. Try to find common ground for both your spiritual needs.

Q: This letter is long overdue; but after reading of Msgr. Tom Hartman's illness, I can't procrastinate any more. I'm a life-long "Suthun Baptist." When I first learned about the God Squad column, I was skeptical, expecting to see theological answers that were wishy-washy, watered-down, feel-good, the-devil-is-the-only-one-responsible. I soon realized I was wrong.

Your column is one of the first I read on Sunday afternoons. One surprise is how often I agree with you. Even when I don't agree, I respect your approach and the thought process you used to formulate an answer. Your answers combine theological expertise with insights based on experience and the practical realities of life.

When I discuss your column with others, I tell them it displays a constant theme: God is the master of the universe and there is a TRUTH. While Jews, Catholics and Protestants may have different opinions regarding that truth, there is still one truth. In some cases, the truth offers room for different individual positions. Sometimes, there's room for only one and we may disagree on what that position is.

Both you and Fr. Hartman have gained my respect and I'm confident that the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob is most pleased. Msgr. Hartman, please allow this "prodigal" Protestant to pray for you. Shalom and God bless you.

P.S.: My wife's spiritual journey has been more varied than mine: Methodist, Catholic, then Baptist, and she too enjoys your column. - R., via godsquadquestion@aol.com )

A: I receive many letters and though it may seem self-serving to include such a positive one, rest assured that I could have easily chosen another identifying the accommodations God has prepared for me in hell. The reason I chose this lovely missive from a Southern Baptist brother in faith is that it makes an important theological point I rarely get to make in such a direct way.

I do indeed believe God is the Creator and Master of the Universe, and I do indeed believe there is a moral truth in this universe. Such truth is not personal, subjective or relativistic. It's not just what any one of us happens to believe. Opinions that contradict this truth are not all equally valid.

Moral error is objectively and absolutely wrong, and moral virtue is universally correct. If, for example, one happens to believe that killing innocent people is morally justified, this is wrong--obscenely wrong--and is wrong whether the person correcting you is a Christian, Jew, Muslim or atheist. Moral truth is the kind of truth we cannot not know. For some, the apprehension of the moral truth comes from faith, and for others it comes from unaided human reason, but the idea that we can't make a universally valid moral judgment about what someone else believes to be right and wrong is ridiculous, divisive and destructive of the moral fiber of our culture. It would mean that Hitler and Gandhi made equally valid moral choices.

I urge you to check out a new book by secular philosopher Austin Dacey: "The Secular Conscience: Why Belief Belongs in Public Life." Dacey disagrees with most religious opinions about the big ethical issues of our time, and I disagree with him. However, I strongly agree with him that it's wrong to reject an opinion about some moral issue just because the person who makes it is religious.

All of us, secularists and religious folks, must talk to each other and be prepared to give good reasons why we judge some act right or wrong. Saying there's just one truth in the world doesn't free any of us, religious or secular, from the responsibility to give good, sound, accessible reasons for our moral judgments. That's what Dacey believes, that's what I believe, and that's what the best religious thinkers I know believe...and it took a Southern Baptist to help me say it. Thanks.

(Send QUESTIONS ONLY to The God Squad, c/o Tribune Media Services, 2225 Kenmore Ave., Suite 114, Buffalo, NY 14207, or email them to godsquadquestion@aol.com.