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'Why don't animals talk?'

By Rabbi Marc Gellman, Tribune Content Agency on

"I don't know exactly," Noah replied. "All I know is that in my dream the hamburger was something delicious between two buns with lettuce, onions, pickles and some special sauce."

"Have some more grass and forget about it," said the cow.

Noah asked the snake, who was the smartest of all the animals, "What's a hamburger and how can I get one?"

The snake whispered in Noah's ear, "To get one you have to make one."

"I don't know how to make one." Noah sputtered.

The snake laughed, pointed at the cow who was peacefully munching some grass, and said to Noah, "To make a hamburger, you have to kill that cow, chop up her meat, and fry it in a pan -- or flame broil it!"

Noah's mouth opened wide, "But ... but ... the cow is my friend! She is a living thing just like me! I can't kill her, chop up her meat and fry it in a pan! And what is flame broiling anyway?"

 

By now the snake was rolling around on the ground laughing, "Kid, if you want a hamburger, that's what you gotta do."

Well ... Noah really wanted a hamburger and so that's what he really did! The first hamburger tasted delicious. But when Noah came again to the fields everything was different. When he walked toward the birds, they flew away. When Noah went over to say hello to the cows and the sheep and the buffalo, they ran away from him. Even the fish swam away when they heard Noah coming. Noah could not understand what had happened to his friends, the animals, and he could not find one single animal who would explain it to him.

In fact, since the day when Noah ate the first hamburger, no animal has ever talked to a person.

They are still too angry.

(Send ALL QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS to The God Squad via email at godsquadquestion@aol.com. Rabbi Gellman is the author of several books, including "Religion for Dummies," co-written with Fr. Tom Hartman.)

(c) 2020 THE GOD SQUAD DISTRIBUTED BY TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES, INC.
 

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