Health & Spirit

How can anyone be so heartless?

By Billy Graham, Tribune Content Agency on

Q: Recently my sister and I tracked down our father, who abandoned us and the rest of our family almost 40 years ago. But when we contacted him by email he let it be known that he didn't want anything to do with us. This really hurt us. How can anyone be so heartless? -- Mrs. W.S.

A: Only your father knows why he feels this way -- and even he might not really know. Our emotions and motives can be very complex, and we end up doing things that aren't even logical or in our best interests. Perhaps this is the case with him.

I can't help but wonder, however, if deep in his soul he feels guilty over what he did so many years ago, and he simply won't face his failure. Or perhaps he's too involved in his present life and doesn't want to get involved with anything (or anyone) from his past. Or again, he may be very self-centered, and he doesn't want to get involved with anything that doesn't seem to be to his advantage. Whatever his reason, you may have to accept the fact that he's probably not going to change.

At the same time, I hope you'll do whatever you can to keep contact and let him know you care -- a birthday card, an occasional email update about your families, and so forth. Pray for him also; in spite of the past, he's still your father -- and God still loves him. The Bible says, "Make every effort to live in peace with everyone" (Hebrews 12:14).

Most of all, never forget that even when others fail us, God never does. He is our loving Heavenly Father, and He will never let us down. Put your faith and trust in Christ, and thank Him for His unchanging love.


(Send your queries to "My Answer," c/o Billy Graham, Billy Graham Evangelistic Association, 1 Billy Graham Parkway, Charlotte, N.C., 28201; call 1-(877) 2-GRAHAM, or visit the Web site for the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association:



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