And Then She Smiled ...
Have you ever been on a date that seemed to be going so well until ...
ANDY: I met her in a bar, which happened to be very dark. She was blond with a smokin' body. We talked for a few minutes and then she and her girlfriends had to leave. Before she left, I got her number.
The following weekend, we went out to dinner at a restaurant that was very well-lit. Too well-lit. Her teeth were yellow and broken, and she was missing a few in the back! I couldn't believe it! Here she'd spent all this money on fake hair and fake boobs, a slinky dress and six-inch heels, but she couldn't afford a dentist? Total turnoff.
I spent the dinner looking at my plate because she was gross!
ANNIE: We met online. Our first and only date was at a restaurant. Forty-five minutes into the date, he said, "If your biological clock is ticking, you're out of luck. I had a vasectomy last year." I just awkwardly sat there eating my chicken for the rest of the date.
MICHELLE: I had a first date that turned into a true confessional. The guy revealed everything about himself all at once. He let me know that he'd been in a lot of therapy, was seeing a new therapist, had all sorts of trauma in his background and was HIV-positive because of his time as a hustler. He said he had been a hustler because he needed the money to support his drug habit!
It was such an info dump that I was more than a little overwhelmed. We were only halfway through the date when I knew I had no interest in a second date.
CALLIE: We met through a mutual friend. We talked and got along fine, so when he asked me out, I said yes.
I drove a Corvette at the time but never mentioned it to him. He drove a Volkswagen Beetle. When he picked me up at my apartment building, the first thing he said was, "Which car in the parking lot is yours?" I thought it was an odd question, but I told him.
At dinner, the conversation always seemed to return to what he was going to do and what he was going to buy. Maybe he felt badly because my car was more expensive than his. I didn't care what he drove, but he seemed to. He would say things like, "I'm going to further my education and make a whole lot more money than I do now," and, "I'm going to buy a better car, maybe one like yours."
He spent the whole evening telling me what he was going to do and what he was going to buy, on and on. At the end of the evening he took me home and said, "Can we go out next Saturday night?" I decided to try it again, thinking that he was just shocked at my car or nervous, so I said OK.
The next week, it was the same thing -- over and over and over. When he took me home, he asked again, "Can we go out next Saturday night?" I said, "No, I don't think so." I was tired of what he was going to do or buy being his entire conversation.
When did you know you never wanted to see your date again? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to firstname.lastname@example.org. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."