Life Advice

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Health & Spirit

This Was Almost a Dance to the Death

Cheryl Lavin on

Many men think they've met, dated, even married the Psycho Bitch from Hell. Justin really has.

He met Nicole through friends who thought they'd be a good match. He was 30 at the time. She was 25. He was a lawyer. She was a dancer. He'd never been married. She was divorced.

He was instantly smitten. "She was tall, with a dancer's posture, extremely attractive, with exotic looks. She had a very interactive, engaging personality." Six months after they met, they married.

And then started the "incremental drip, drip, drip against my friends and family. She would drop hints that they were bad people and then claim victimhood. At the same time, she sabotaged all of my relationships with my friends, going so far as to call them and tell them off, allegedly on my instructions."

Justin says he had no idea what was going. He had a "severe case of relationship myopia," so severe that he ignored the red flags that "came up fairly early and regularly. I was too close to the forest to notice those tall, wood-based, leafy things."

But it wasn't long before those leafy things couldn't be ignored. "She became ever more erratic, accusing me of affairs, of alcoholism, of stealing from her. Actually, none of that happened. I was the one being abused. She'd been a professional dancer, and she broke two of my ribs with her kicks. She even crashed my office when she knew I had important meetings with clients. She destroyed my suits, threw knives and scissors at me, even threw boiling water in my face.

They began seeing a psychiatrist for marital therapy. The psychiatrist told Justin that Nicole was bipolar and manic-depressive with violent and suicidal tendencies. Justin had seen the manic side while they were dating. "I didn't learn of the depressive side until later."

After two years, Justin had had enough. He moved out of his house, and she began to stalk him. When he moved back into his home, he discovered that she'd recorded over 250 VCR tapes of his favorite movies replacing them with dance instructions from her earlier days, broken every single light bulb in the house, turned off the water at the main, and run up $10,000 in long distance charges to Europe.

Even though they'd only been married 24 months, in the divorce settlement, Nicole got half of Justin's savings and two years of "high maintenance," a phrase he still finds amusing.

 

Justin says he got such a raw deal because his attorney was "in lust with her."

"As an attorney myself, I should have caught on. Today, he'd lose his license. Back then, Illinois had no rules against sleeping with your client -- or your opponent's client."

This all happened many years ago. Justin has only seen Nicole once since, but he does hear about her from time to time.

"I understand she's now heavily medicated and being treated for mental illness. Mutual acquaintances try to keep me informed, but I really have no interest."

He's moved on. He's been with his "honey" for "10 blissful years." He says she's "artistic, bilingual, extremely supportive and sweet. We met by accident and really hit it off. Life would not be the same without her."

As far as Nicole is concerned, Justin says, "All I can do is be grateful she's out of my life."

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Have you ever met a Psycho Bitch from Hell? Send your tale, along with your questions, problems and rants to cheryllavinrapp@gmail.com. And check out my e-books, "Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front" and "I'll Call You. Not."

 

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