Life Advice



Single File: The Declaration of Undependence

Susan Dietz on

More than 100 million strong -- and soon to gain majority status in America -- the unmarried community affirms its undependence with this Declaration of Undependence.

I RESOLVE to think for myself in all situations rather than allow anyone (even "experts") to make important decisions regarding the course of my life. While I will remain open to wise counsel, I alone will make the final decision in matters affecting my life. And when there are shared decisions to be made, I will make myself heard, always vigilant not to be disagreeable when disagreeing.

I RESOLVE to remain aware of my undependence/wholeness at all times, especially when coupled. While not encroaching on my partner's needs, I will be vigilant to voice my own.

I RESOLVE to nurture worthwhile friendships with men and women of all ages from every conceivable background. Undependence is a worldview that respects all people of goodwill who want to make our friendship mutually enriching. We must agree on that prerequisite.

I RESOLVE to build commonality with the other gender, certain they are neither alien nor enemy. I will strive to establish authentic intimacy with them that reaches far beyond sexual activity.

I RESOLVE when possible (and appropriate) to decide the pattern of my life: personal development, career goals, interpersonal relationships.


I RESOLVE to keep my single status incidental, aware it does not define me or my contribution to the world. In the larger picture of life, marital status is not of major significance. Intelligent, meaningful involvement is.

I RESOLVE to bear with occasional loneliness and to consciously resist impulses to flee into mindless -- and loveless -- company. Loneliness may be part of the human condition, but aloneness is experienced quite differently when it is used to gain compatibility with oneself, which just happens to be an important requisite for successful partnering in love!

I RESOLVE to maximize the possibilities for growth within my singleness. Being unmarried has its disadvantages, but there is so much I will do with its advantages.


We've uncovered another treasure trove of "Single File" paperbacks -- in perfect condition, signed by Susan, ready to enjoy. Send $15 and your address: Susan Deitz, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 Third St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. Have a question for Susan? You can reach her directly at




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